HIS WORDS |Editing|

C H A P T E R 18

DENYA

He was just right in front of me and I let him go, I let him walk away from me again. Not sure what I was supposed to be feeling now. But I do know that I miss him more than I did before.

It was like it never happened, no one dears to even utter a word about what happend yesterday. And I'm not sure why, why isn't anyone talking about it. A few minutes ago I tried. I tried asking why he couldn't stay longer, and instead I felt a hard smack and afterwards my cheek hurted.

It happened so fast, never have my dad hurted me before. My mom watched it all go down and turned her back like she didn't see anything.

You see I don't understand what is happening. Everyone I love end up hurting me in Some way or another. In the process I'm left with thoughts that I can't bring myself to understand. I don't understand what I have done wrong. Why is this all happening to me, how can they just take the only thing that made me happy, and accept me not to ask any questions.

Sometimes it feels like I'm dreaming. Like the universe just wants to throw hardships after hardships and it so unfair. In my eyes this is so unfair, I always try to treat people in the best way I can. I respect everyone, I'm even to afraid to say something that can hurt someone's feelings, because I know how it feels like. I know that words can cut deeper than knifes. I know the feeling all too well. Building your confidence from scratch and have it all crumbling down after someone just spoke a few words. So I always keep in mind that everyone has their problems they deal with behind closed doors. And someone can be suffering without me knowing so I can't just say anything to anyone without thinking it trough. I have always been like that. Trying to take care of everyone. But I can't help it but wonder, how come no one takes care of me?

I'm exhausted, always walking to places with the world on my shoulder. Never am I aloud to take a break. Never am I aloud to catch my breath. I need to keep going without any pit stops, but I feel like my legs are going to stop working soon. If that happens I won't be able to carry myself around anymore. But if I'm not their to take care of myself than who will?

Sure I have great friends but I don't want to bother them with my issues, they have their own. I stopped in my tracks and looked around me. I was standing near a cafe and was about to walk inside until my eyes locked with Ezra. He was eating a muffin and he seemed pretty happy with Trina right next to him.

My mind told me to just turn around and walk away and I did. I wasn't in the mood to be in the same space as Trina, I don't hold any grudges against her. Something just tells me It would be better if I don't show my face to her. And it's not like my existence actually makes her happy. More like I annoy her without doing anything. I felt someone grab my arm and I turned around and our eyes locked. He put his scarf around me and smiled.

"It's pretty cold novia , if you don't want to get sick I suggest to dress according to the weather." Ezra smiled at me and decided to hold my face in both his hands.

"I will, you should go back inside. Your friends are looking our way." I tell him and he looked behind him to meet the curious eyes staring at us.

"Why don't you come inside?" He suggested.

I shook my head. "No I.. I was on my way home."

Ezra looked at me in a sceptical manner. "You were about to go in, than you saw me and walked away." Ezra said and I notice the way his expression changed from happy to worried.

"Are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong?"

"No." I tell him to reassure him. "It's just that I saw you with your friends and It didn't feel right to intervene." Ezra smiled at me and shook his head laughing. "I'm sure my friends won't mind." He lead me back to the cafe without letting my hand go. I really didn't want to go inside. A lot of people just can't bring themselves to like me. I have never been the type to just say 'no' to anyone. And the way he smiled and his eyes lit up made me gave in.