Almost Unreal | Violentine One-Shots

One Hundred and Seventy-Two Days | Angst

172 days.

Violet thinks over the number in her head as she stares at the calendar and crosses off today's date. How many minutes have passed in those days, how many seconds, how many times has Violet's heart ached for Clementine? Clementine who left 172 days ago.

Violet checks the time on the clock. It's nearing noon and she still hasn't moved from her bed. Violet used to think it was a blessing that she got to work from home. But the sadness she feels of being suddenly single, paired with the fact that she doesn't have to leave the house for her job, means she mopes around all day instead. Louis tells her all the time that she should move on, that there are other fish in the sea. Violet doesn't want anyone else; she just wants Clementine.

It's become a part of her new morning routine to open her text messages to Clementine and draft a text before she gets out of bed. She thinks quietly about what she wants to say before tapping the keys on the mobile phone.

Violet: Hey Clementine, I know I should stop texting you. But I can't get you out of my head. I see things around my flat, (the flat we used to share) and it makes me think of you, I walk past the park and I think of you. I still love you, but I'm so frustrated you left, I'll never forgive you for leaving me.

Violet pauses, tears drop from her eyes and land on the screen. She wipes them away and then deletes the last part of the message. Clementine may have broken her heart, but she doesn't deserve Violet's anger.

Violet: I still love you. I hope you still think of me as I think of you. X

She sends the text, feeling disheartened at the fact all the previous messages have no replies. There's a one-sided conversation that's been going on between Violet and Clementine for the last five months. For the last 172 days, there's been silence. Violet scrolls all the way up to the last message Clementine sent her. It simply reads, can I meet you in the park? I need to talk to you about something.

Violet stands and makes her way out of her room, padding through the kitchen dressed in only her underwear and a black t-shirt. She rummages through the fridge and groans when she finds it empty, she'll have to venture out of the house to get food, something she rarely does nowadays. Once or twice she's gone out to have meaningless sex with women she's never met before. Once or twice they've come here. She thought she'd relish in the intimacy she'd been starved of for so long, but these one night stands just make her feel even more hollow.

There's a knock on her front door and Violet closes the empty fridge as she hesitantly wanders down the hallway, not particularly caring that she's only half dressed. It's probably just Brody anyway. Violet undoes the locks and peaks around the corner, looking up at the person standing at the other side of the door.

"Hi, Louis" Violet says solemnly as she opens the door and turns back into the hallway aware that she's half naked. She heads into her bedroom and fishes out an old pair of Clementine's jogging bottoms from the back of her wardrobe. Before she puts them on she brings the soft fabric to her nose, inhaling deeply. There's no smell anymore, just dust from the back of the wardrobe. She returns from her bedroom and meanders back into the main room where Louis is placing milk bottles and bacon into the fridge.

"Thanks, Lou," says Violet sitting at the table and resting her head in the open palm of her hand.

"You having a bad day?" he asks, he moves around Violet's kitchen efficiently placing objects as he goes. Violet finds it hard to answer that question honestly. No days are good anymore, sometimes the sadness is minimal and easy to ignore, like a fly buzzing around your head and distracting you. Something that's easy to forget, but always makes its presence known. Other days the sadness is like a large angry wasp, venomous and loud taking control over everything Violet does. Today is one of those days.