Almost Unreal | Violentine One-Shots

I Wonder | Comfort

"It's just six months," Clementine assures her girlfriend. Violet frowns and swirls the spoon between her fingers around her mug of coffee. She refuses to meet Clementine's eyes.

"Six months is such a long time Clementine," says Violet as she bites her lip, finally looking up at her girlfriend.

Clementine moves her hand across the table and strokes Violet's fingers. Clementine's fingertips are cold and Violet automatically takes Clementine's hands between her own, rubbing warmth into her girlfriend's palms. "I hate being left behind," says Violet with a whimper.

"We're not breaking up Vi," promises the brunette as she slips her fingers between Violet's. She smiles and her eyes glint in the light entering the café. "It's just that this work opportunity, it's fantastic, it's a really good step in my career." Clementine looks at her hands encircled by Violet's and she smiles. Violet exhales and after thinking of her girlfriend's passion, her love for her job and travelling she nods her head.

"Okay," she says as she leans her elbows on the table, "but you have to promise we'll skype all the time?"

Clementine beams and also leans across the table; their noses brush lightly together. "I promise, every day for 190 days I'll call you." Violet breaks into a smile and pushes forward to press a kiss tenderly on Clementine's lips. The brunette hums lightly and Violet continues to smile, not feeling so afraid about being on her own anymore.

SEVENTEEN MONTHS LATER

Violet sits in the same café with the same blend of coffee in her mug. She's wearing the same jumper with tattered sleeves and loose threads. On her finger is a simple gold banded promise ring, which Violet taps in a rhythm against the porcelain mug. It's the same one Clementine sent to Violet on her 22nd birthday. Exactly a week later, Clementine died.

She passed peacefully in her sleep. Natural causes, that's what the autopsy revealed anyway. Was it peaceful? like slipping into a deep dream where she still resides now? Or was it painful, scary, overwhelming? The same feeling you get beneath the water where you fear you won't reach the surface in time. Violet tugs on the sleeves of her jumper as she thinks of Clementine lying on a cold metal table, beautiful brown eyes closed forever. In two weeks it will have been eighteen months since she died, and it still hurts, even all this time later.

Many times over the past year Violet has wondered what it's like to die. To end the pain, suffering and grief that comes along with being the one left behind. She's not unhappy anymore, not like she once was, and while it still hurts to think that Clementine passed away so young, Violet has learnt to move on with her life. But she'd be lying if she said she didn't think about Clementine all the time; Violet misses her more than anything.

Violet drains her coffee and stands, throwing a handful of coins into the donation box as she smiles at the café owner. His name is James, he's quiet and understanding, good friends with her friendship group and someone Violet has leaned on for support in the past. "Bye Violet," he calls after her as she heads to the door. Violet turns and nods as she heads out of the café. She starts whistling to herself as she heads down the street towards her car.

Violet gets into her car and turns on the radio. She goes to put the car into drive but halts as she recognises the song playing on the radio station. It's Clementine's favourite song, or at least was her favourite song when she was still alive. Violet looks at the radio dumbfounded and feels her heart begin to jump around inside her ribcage. Tears threaten to spill from her eyes but she bites her cheek and smiles as she remembers all the happy memories attached to this song instead of the sadness that comes along with it.

Dancing together at their graduation while this song played. Running through the sands along the point where the sea meets the golden grains on their first holiday together. Sharing headphones and listening to this song while they sheltered under an umbrella from the rain, not caring that they were cold or tired because they had each other.