Spider-Man One Shots

Why You Should Never Piss off Peter Parker

A/N This involves the rogue Avengers. I have nothing at all against them, I love them all, but for the sake of the story they're assholes.

This is the time the Avengers meet Peter, Tony's adoptive son, for the first time. It's also the first and last time they piss him off.

Like any other day, Peter went to school, did what had to be done there, then went home so he could start patrolling. But as soon as Peter walked in, he saw his dad pacing the living room floor muttering to himself.

"Uh dad? Are you okay?" Peter questioned as he slowly walked up to his father.

"Huh? Oh yeah yeah I'm fine." Tony replied seeming out of focus.

Peter just glared at him. "Daaaaad, tell me what's really happening." Peter said dragging out the 'a'.

Tony sighed before turning to Peter. He definitely seemed panicked, and Peter worried that he might have an anxiety attack. "Okay so the rogue Avengers are coming back today and I'm not sure what to do, 'cause like, what if I mess it up? What if they just continue to hate me? What if-" Peter cut him off by hugging him and whispering things in his ear to calm him down.

"It's going to be okay. You know we could both kill them if they step out of line anyways." Peter joked, getting a half-hearted laugh from his adoptive dad.

"Sir? The rogue Avengers have entered the tower." Friday said, seemingly worried about Tony's health. "Sir your heart rate is increasing dramatically."

"Yeah, I know." Tony replied getting very close to having an anxiety attack.

"Hey. Stand up for now, and when they get here say what you need to say, then we can leave and watch a movie or something," Peter said in attempt to calm his dad. Fortunately it worked and Tony was up again just as the elevator announced its arrival.

When the elevator opened, the rogue Avengers stepped in looking awkward. Glances were split between the two groups before Tony broke the silence.

"So. Welcome to the Avengers tower. You'll each have your own rooms, each of which are labeled. Eat whenever you feel like it, my lab and room are out of bounds, and please don't mess with anything you don't understand." Tony said monotonously, while Peter was at his side staring blankly at the others in the room.

"Tony, if you don't mind me asking, who's the kid?" Wanda asked staring at the 'kid'.

"Oh. This is Peter. He's my son, and is also Spider-man." Tony stated, looking at his son proudly.

"ohmygodIdroppedanentiremetalaiplanethingyonhimohmygod." Steve said quickly.

"I have super strength calm down." Peter said glaring at Steve.

"How could you let a kid do that?" Wanda said staring at Peter questioningly. Peter stared right back. Wanda expected him to back down as soon as she glared, but he didn't even react.

"I made every safety precaution I could into that suit. He's as safe as he can get with the life he has." Tony replied.

"Alright. I think we're done here. Come on dad, you promised that movie marathon." Peter said smiling, while dragging his father to his room. Peter was listening very intently on the conversations the rogues were having though. As soon as the two were settled, Peter heard something that made his blood boil.

"You think that kid is a kid of some prostitute Tony had a while back?" Steve asked.

"Probably. Who knows though." Wanda replied.

"Poor kid! Ever since Pepper broke up with him he must be having a different woman each night!" Steve cackled at his own joke, whereas Peter was fuming and was already on his way to the living room.

"Peter? Where you going?" Tony said quietly, exhausted from lack of sleep and the contact with the other Avengers.

"Just gonna grab something to drink. Be right back." Peter wasn't wrong, he was grabbing something to drink, but was also going to kick someone's ass.

Tony looked up to where Peter was, then at the T.V. in his room. "Friday follow Peter on the security cams."

"Yes boss." Friday spoke.

Peter entered the living room, almost silently, and stood there glaring.

"Hey son. What do ya need?" Steve spoke as if not trash talking Tony a minute ago.

"Don't you 'Hey son' me. Cut the crap captain." Peter said, spitting out captain like a bad bite of food.

"Woah I don't think you know who you're talking to." Steve said, standing up challenging the young boy.

"Shut up Steve. I know exactly who I'm talking to." Peter spat out again. "You're lucky Tony have you a place to stay after you left him for dead. I wish I used my full strength against you in Berlin because then I wouldn't be seeing that smug look on your face. Everything heroic about you came from a tube. Everything heroic about Tony came from his mind. Clearly you can't see that."

"Why the hell are you angry at me all of a sudden?!" Steve exclaimed, starting to shout at Peter.

"Because I heard you talking to your little friends over there about Tony having a different woman over every night." Peter yelled. News flash! He doesn't. He stays up all night in his lab, figuring out ways to make the world a better place. What have you been doing? Fighting over a damn piece of paper and running from your problems! I tried to be nice, but now I've stopped. Stand down Steve" Peter finished his sentence, not even out of breath, glaring at Steve with a look scarier than Black Widow's.

"No. You stand down. I wouldn't want this to get messy." Steve replied, not even flinching at Peter.

"Messy? The only way it'll get messy is when I throw you through a wall." Peter replied, smirking.

Then the intercoms came on. "No throwing Steve through a wall Peter." Tony spoke.

"Aww but dad!" Peter whined.

"Use the training room. I made it out of vibranium for a reason." Tony continued. Peter cheered silently before glaring at Steve again and dragging him to the training room they had.

"Kid I don't want to hurt you." Steve said as he stood across from Peter, who was already in a position ready to strike.

"I'd be more worried about you Capsicle." Tony said over the intercoms.

Soon the fight started, beginning with Cap thrown across the room. Steve jumped up getting punched square in the jaw by a raging Peter soon after. After realizing the situation he was in, Steve started to fight back. It was no use, as Peter was stronger, faster, and had more agility. Whenever Steve thought he was close to hitting Peter,the nimble boy only jumped back flipping a few times. Soon enough, the fight ended with Steve on the floor, a bloody broken nose, and an unscathed Peter.

"Good job Peter. Finish grabbing that drink of yours and I'll start the movie." Tony said for the last time over the intercoms.

"Alright dad!" He replied. He soon made his way to the kitchen, meeting with the one and only Black Widow.

"Saw your fight. We gotta spar sometime. Maybe you'll give me a challenge." Natasha said glancing at the boy.

"What? Bird brains wasn't enough?" Peter joked.

"Ah no. I do have a question for you though. What is your full strength?" She asked, pondering about the question.

"Ohhhh that. Yeah I could've easily thrown that aircraft carrier. But I have to 'dial down' my strength because if I don't, it's too much." Peter said truthfully.

"What happens if you do use your full strength?" Natasha asked.

"I could break bones. My body isn't large enough to handle that kind of strength. I guess that's why Hulk is so big." Peter said. "Anyways, I've got a movie night and patrol to do. Nice chatting with you!" Peter waved goodbye as he spun around the corner and left the kitchen.

"Yeah. Bye kid."