Weekly News from the Wacky World of Fairy Tales. The Once Upon A Times keeps you up to date with all the goings-on in the fairy tale lands, from the Pleasant Kingdoms to the Seven Seas of Despair.
Kleerwater Keep, Pleasant Kingdoms - It has been a summer of incredible transformation for Princess Lindy Ponde, the unlikely lightweight set to take the Fairy Tale Wrestling Federation by storm. "It all began back in July," she recounts from her state-of-the-art training facility. "I fumbled a little golden ball into Kleerwater Pond and a talking frog fetched it for me. Then, the frog started following me around everywhere. It was so annoying, I just picked it up and hurled it against a wall."
Little did she know that aggression was exactly what the frog was looking for. "I had a witch transform me into a frog last year," explains Sir Henry Irons, a successful young knight and personal trainer. "I wanted to go undercover to scout out the toughest talent in all of nature, but it was Lindy who impressed me the most. I saw her tossing that golden ball around and thought her dexterity was top-notch, despite that one drop. Fetching the ball gave me an excuse to observe her more closely, and later, when she chucked me against the wall, I knew she had the brute force to be a championship wrestler."
In fact, Princess Lindy threw the frog-knight so hard, he transformed back into his human shape and immediately signed her as his star client. Ever since, the princess has been working out three times a day, seven days a week. Her own goals--and body--have transformed too. "Last year, if you would have asked me what I wanted to do with my life, I would have said something like 'get married.' Now, all I want to do is crush opponents. I'm faster, stronger, and more flexible than ever. I can't wait to officially get on the mat."
The princess follows a strict training regimen, inspired by her early encounter with Sir Henry. "Mostly, I throw animals. During the first week of training, I caught more frogs and hurled them against the wall. Since then, I've progressed to larger creatures: rabbits, foxes, badgers, and deer. I think Henry's even importing a moose for me."
The princess has spared no expense on her training facility, and Sir Henry believes their use of the latest technologies will pay off. "We installed a sophisticated wall-mounted trampoline. Lindy throws the animals against it, they bounce back to her, and then she throws them again, so she's developing her stamina. I also put these heavy metal bands around her torso. She's got to flex and break them."
But strength is not the only key to the princess' success. She continues to hone her agility and reflexes through ball games, using the same golden toy that set all of this in motion. "It is funny," she muses during a break between practice bouts, "the one time I dropped that ball, it brought Henry and I together--a happy mistake, I suppose. But once I'm officially competing in the Fairy Tale Wrestling Federation, there won't be any more mistakes. Mark my words. There won't be."
Princess Lindy's first match is set for next Tuesday at the Royal Coliseum against Stonekold the Troll Smasher. Though she insists she cannot look past her first opponent, she admits she has her sights set on a far greater prize. "It may only be my first year of competition, but Henry and I are going all in. It's the Diamond Belt or bust."
Based on the Brothers Grimm's version of "The Frog King, or Iron Heinrich"
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Stay tuned for more news from the front lines of fairy tale, coming next Tuesday...
