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Witchy 500 Winner Argues Her Ride Should Be Street Legal
Dizzying Loop, Odorous Realms - Elderly Baba Yaga has won her first Witchy 500 title--and her unconventional vehicle is attracting all sorts of attention. Rather than racing in her usual flying mortar, Baba Yaga lapped the field in a house with giant chicken legs. Her competitors, astride broomsticks, dragons, and very large owls, were hopelessly outmatched.
But Baba Yaga isn't satisfied with the victory. She intends to take her chicken-legged house to the streets. "Da, da, winning race is good," she explained, while her house rested behind her. "But look, house gets dizzy running in circles. It cannot be cooped up on track like this. I will be happy when government lets me take chicken-house on actual roads."
However, officials warn that it may be some time before they approve her vehicle as road-ready. "Usually, we build roads to avoid houses," says Pave Tarback, Goblin Minister of Transportation. "Unless it's an elf's house, of course--then we just bulldoze right through. But do you realize how many bylaws I'll have to rewrite if people start taking their houses on the roads? It's going to give me claw cramps."
Baba Yaga insists she won't be denied. "Government must agree. This is revolution in witchiness. In old days, we sit in dark forest and wait for you to come to us. Now, I can be modern, mobile witch-on-go. You need something, I show up in chicken-house. Easy-peasy. Just like winning race today."
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Based, of course, on the great Baba Yaga of Slavic folklore. Tune in next #FairyTaleTuesday for more news!
