Weekly News from the Wacky World of Fairy Tales. The Once Upon A Times keeps you up to date with all the goings-on in the fairy tale lands, from the Pleasant Kingdoms to the Seven Seas of Despair.
Scores of Missing Children Living Happily in Gingerbread Mansion
Spearmint Forest, Borderlands – Authorities closed over forty cold cases regarding missing children this week, after it was discovered that the youths have been enjoying an idyllic adolescence at a gingerbread mansion deep in Spearmint Forest.
"Most of us were abandoned in these woods by our parents," explains Hans Crombie, 14. "So, we're not particularly keen to go back. We've made a good way of life for ourselves here."
His sister, Gertrude, 13, details how the children have survived. "It's simple, really. The house is made of magic candy. Eat some of the wall and the next day, it repairs itself and you can eat some more. You know, adults always told me, 'If you only eat candy, you'll get sick of it!' Well, it's been five years and I'm still going strong."
Hans and Gertrude were the first to make their home at the mansion, which they found mysteriously uninhabited. They quickly christened their new abode Kinder-bread House. Since then, dozens of other abandoned children have joined them, convinced to stay by the lack of farm work, curfew, school, prayers, and vegetables.
"We had so many chores when we were younger," Hans says. "Now, we don't have any. We eat when we want, we sleep when we want, and we play all day, every day. Sure, I've put on plenty of pounds and lost half my teeth, but that's a small price to pay for freedom."
With no plans to ever return to civilization, it seems Hans, Gertrude, and the rest of their Kinder-bread companions will continue their wild child lifestyle for years to come.
It should be noted that one mysterious disappearance in the forest remains unsolved—not that of a child, but of elderly Witch Fatimah Candide, the previous owner of the mansion. The Society of Malevolent Magickers lost touch with her five years ago and continues to seek any information on her whereabouts.
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