Niko & Dom - A Bedspacers Romance (SSPG - COMPLETE)

Chapter 21.1

NANATILI LANG akong walang kibo habang nakikinig kay Niko. Nang tumigil kami sa tapat ng isang apartment a while back, imbes na bumaba sinimulan niyang isalaysay ang mga nangyari sa kaniya sa nagdaang linggo.

Hindi ako makapagsalita, animo’y idinikit ang dila sa aking lalamunan. I don’t know what to say. Ramdam ko ang hirap sa kaniyang kalooban the way he grips the steering wheel as the knuckles in his fingers went white.

Napatingin ako sa labas, mukhang pati ang langit ay sadyang itinago ang makasunog-balat na liwanag kanina lang at ngayon ay napuno ng makapal na ulap na nakikiramay sa mga nararamdaman ng bawat isa sa amin.

I gazed back at him, to his handsome face that mirrors the sadness of his soul, to those lips slightly quivering with the burst of emotions eating his heart out as he courageously remembered everything so he could tell me.

Huminga ako ng malalim, suddenly felt the depleting oxygen inside the car. I remembered Cedric doing something like this. Doing it for the sake of getting my sympathy and so I won’t leave him and continue being his bed-warmer.

Tumingin ako sa mukha ni Niko. Totoo ba ang lahat ng ikinuwento niya? I was dying inside for the last several days and I was taken out of all reasons to continue dreaming about him especially what happened yesterday. Pero sino ba sa amin ngayon ang mas higit na nangangailangan ng pag-intindi?

As the small droplets of rain started to wet the red hood of the car, I saw myself looking at the obvious answer to my question as Niko stared back at me, the corners of his sexy eyes reddening.

I felt the urge to reach out and touch his cheek. Lalong nadagdagan ang galit ko kay Jim. Nakaramdam din ako ng inis sa sarili ko dahil wala ako sa tabi ni Niko nang mga oras na iyon. Those times he needed a friend. He needed a lover. He needed me most. I needed to thanked his brother at walang masamang nangyari sa kaniya kung hindi baka hindi ko mapapatawad ang aking sarili bilang primerang dahilan ng pagkakasadlak niya sa sitwasyon.

“Why did you opted to stay at your brother’s house? Why did you keep yourself away from -,” Me? I wanted to say but given what transpired between us the night before which certainly is not good, instead I continued with, “- us?” Pilit kong sinubukan na hindi mahaluan ng panunumbat ang aking tinig pero mukhang nabigo ako.

Niko let go of the steering wheel, his hands fell down on his lap clasping together. Huminga siya ng malalim kasabay ng pagtaas-baba ng kaniyang mga balikat. “Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko Dom. After Emma told me what that stupid Cedric did to you, I just can’t walk towards you doing the same thing.”

Ito ang pagkakaiba ni Niko kay Cedric, I can feel the sincerity in his words as if he was talking through his heart that starts to melt any apprehensions I have. Napapahinuhod niya ang puso kong napagod ng sumubok magtiwala at magmahal.

“Tama ang sinabi mo that night, Dom. I still have issues to take care alone before I will be worthy being your boyfriend. So I decided to stay away from you for the meantime.” Tumingin siya sa akin, his gaze penetrated to my soul sharing me his feelings of subdued longing and extreme desperation as the rain outside started to pour heavily but not loud enough making his voice still audible. “I’m sorry Dom for leaving you just like that. Sorry for not answering your calls or messages. Pinatay ko ang cellphone ko the whole week at gusto kong mag-isip. Gusto ko ng katahimikan without Cherryl bothering me and insisting that we do sex that I can no longer give.”

Fuck life! Why would it be this complicated for us? I didn’t say anything fearing the first word that leaves my mouth will break me instantly. I want to put a finger on his lips to silence him and tell him that everything will be okay and that I love him but the fearful side of me said to stop.