Emerald Eyes

46 - Dear Line

Back home in Amsterdam, we said goodbye to the team. Martijn had asked me on the flight if there was any chance I could stay at his house with him for a couple of days until the final check-up with the doctor and of course, I agreed. That way, I packed up a couple of things at the dorms and then I headed back to his house. Martijn opened the door for me walking on his crutches: "Hey, baby.", he said and gave me a kiss. "Hey!", I answered, "How are you feeling? You look a little exhausted." I closed the door behind me and followed him into his bedroom, as he said: "To be honest, I am quite exhausted. All this travelling, you know? And the foot doesn't really feel much better either. I'd love to lay down for a bit and take some rest now that you are here." "Of course. Come on, I'll help you. Is there anything else you need?", I asked him. Martijn gave me a smile and said: "No thank you, love. Having you here with me is more than I could ask for." "Alright.", I said and helped him lay down in his bed, "Promise me you'll rest a bit. And let me know if you need anything, I'll be here with you." "Promised.", he smiled and then cuddled up under his duvet. I placed a kiss on his head and then quietly closed the door to the living room to let him sleep a little. Meanwhile, I sat down on his couch with the incredible view over the roofs of the city. I took out the letter Martijn had given to me on the plane and decided that now would be the best time to read it. I opened it up to find a letter of two full pages of his handwriting, so I started to read.

Dear Line,

I don't even know how to start this, but I just felt the need to sit down and put these feelings I have right now into words. To put you in the picture, it's the night I hurt my ankle during the show at Omnia in Vegas. We both just got back from the hospital, we went to sleep and I slept a little. But now I am awake and can't seem to fall asleep anymore. You're lying next to me in this hotel bed and I have to say, I couldn't be more thankful to have you here with me. It means so much to find a familiar face out there in the crowd when you're on the verge of freaking out. Sometimes it all just gets to you. All the pressure and all the expectations. That's why I wish I could have you around more often. You always calm me down. All this love you have shown me in the past months and especially tonight is something I don't even know how to ever pay you back for. With my crazy schedule I know that sometimes it might seem like I am not fully appreciative of all you do for me, but especially moments like this remind me to show it to you more often. To be honest, I can't keep my eyes of you as you are lying here next to me. You're looking so incredibly precious and you don't even know what a beauty you are. I love how your hair looks golden when the sunshine shines through it and all the little freckles in your face. And most importantly, I can't get enough of your smile. It's what keeps me going. When I fell tonight, you gave me the strength I needed to finish the show despite the pain I was in. And you definitely know how much that means to me. Music means the world to me, but so do you. I'm so sorry I forgot to play your song tonight, but the accident just completely threw me off. To be honest, for a moment I was so scared that something serious could've happened. I don't really like to admit that, because I feel like I have to be strong and all, but I feel like I can be totally honest with you about that. You just get me, no matter what. I promise I will play that song for you another night. I'll just save it up for another special occasion where you can be with me again. Let's just hope my injury isn't too serious. Honestly, I'm so thankful you're putting up with a crazy guy like me. Can you believe that it has been almost half a year that we're dating? Time's flying by like crazy. Every day I hope I can live up to be who you deserve to have by you side. Please excuse me if I fail to do so from time to time, but just know I'm always trying my best. I know how much you have been through and I never want that to happen ever again. You're just way too precious, baby. You deserve the world. Before I get too lost into my words now, I guess I should much rather try and get back to sleep again. I'll probably need the energy for tomorrow, but I do feel much better now though. I'm not too sure if I'll give this letter to you anytime soon, but if I do, just know that this is all heartfelt. Much love.

+x Martijn 

As I finished up reading his letter, a warm feeling spread inside of me. It only confirmed what I had been feeling lately. With Martijn, everything just felt so natural. He meant the world to me as well. I got up and walked back to Martijn's bedroom. Quietly, I opened the door to check on him. He was still asleep. I sat down next to him on the bed and spent the next couple of minutes just looking at him, thinking how crazily lucky I got to be with him. I read through his letter for a second time, before I put it down on the table next to his bed and got ready for bed. "Good night, Garrix.", I whispered, "I love you more than you could ever imagine."