𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐗! | 𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒗𝒆𝒍 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒐𝒎

college idiots [pt. 3]

tony stark IS ONLINE

tony stark: if all of you aren't on in thirty seconds i'm hiring a sharpshooter to target you i am NOT joking

steve rogers, thor odinson, carol danvers, loki odinson, clint barton, scott lang, AND bruce banner ARE ONLINE

tony stark: thank you.

tony stark: so i think it's safe to say that you ALL are dead to me. that presentation literally COULD NOT have gone worse. i hate you all

scott lang: i'm sorry tony i tried my best

tony stark: SCOTT NO YOU DID AMAZING YOU IGNORE THAT COMMENT OKAY??

scott lang: oh okay thank you :')

tony stark: you know what i'm calling everyone out about that too

scott lang: thank you tony but i really don't think that's necessary

tony stark: SCOTT LANG IS THE ONLY MEMBER OF THIS CHAT THAT I RESPECT. he put so much effort into this project, did his part, even helped when SOME PEOPLE didn't do their parts at ALL, and did this all while he was the youngest in the group and barely even knew half of us, the other half he didn't know at ALL. if i were to have to pick a team to survive on an island with scott would be my first pick. y'all can drown

steve rogers: tony we tried our best

tony stark: DON'T EVEN START WITH ME ROGERS YOU DID TERRIBLE AND YOU KNOW IT

steve rogers: but me and thor!! we tried to team up and present our parts together so it made more sense!!

tony stark: and how'd that work out for you

thor odinson: though it was a wise idea, steven, tony is right in thinking that it did not go as well as we had anticipated.

tony stark: OH LOOK AT THAT EVEN YOUR GOOD OLE BUDDY AGREES

clint barton: alright tony chill out

tony stark: barton don't you even TEST ME. you showed up hungover!! exactly how drunk did you get last night??

clint barton: i had a couple drinks at some party what's the big deal??

tony stark: you literally left. halfway through our presentation. to throw up in the bathroom.

clint barton: at least i made it to the bathroom

carol danvers: he got you there bub

tony stark: carol would you like to inform us on where you even were

tony stark: you just decide last minute that you weren't gonna present?? not chill

carol danvers: yeah i didn't want to go lol

tony stark: literally eye–

tony stark: i don't even know what to say to you i'm THAT angry

carol danvers: anna ou that probably means i should get out of the chat huh

tony stark: yeah :) probably :)

carol danvers IS OFFLINE

tony stark: bruce you can stay but you're on THIN ICE buddy

bruce banner: yeah that's valid i didn't do great sorry but you know how i get when i'm presenting

tony stark: i know and that's why i'm not COMPLETELY gonna call you out but i also know your hungover face and you were definitely wearing it today

bruce banner: alright so mayhaps i had a few drinks w clint last night

tony stark: i knew it

bruce banner: at least EYE didn't throw up halfway through tho. i held it in. like a real man

clint barton: don't even try me banner i have videos from last night

bruce banner: i retract all and any statements regarding last night and/or clint barton thank you

clint barton: yeah that's what i thought

scott lang: uh tony can i ask a quick question?

tony stark: of course anything for you scott

scott lang: where was that scary girl who's dating clint for some reason? nat?

clint barton: i'm going to act as if i didn't read that because it was definitely a roast on me

tony stark: she got super sick and couldn't come and the only reason i'm not dragging her for it is because she actually did a lot of the project and kept everyone in line and basically kept me from murdering someone so yeah she's a goddess in pure form

tony stark: long story short she's sick

scott lang: oh okay thank you :')

tony stark: all right everyone you're free to leave. lecture is over.

tony stark: lol wait

tony stark: hello loki.

loki odinson: and here i was thinking i had slipped into the shadows again

tony stark: you did fine. obviously only because of nat's threat from last week but like. you're good. leave or whatever idc

loki odinson: is,, is this a trick,, are you trying to trick me

tony stark: no i literally just can't think of anything bad to say about how you did today and the poster looked really good so yeah i have no bones to pick w you but don't get used to it. i'll be watching you

loki odinson: i should've just joined another group this one makes me nervous–

tony stark: :)

tony stark: glad we all had this talk. have fun doing whatever you losers do when you're not being threatened by either me or nat

tony stark IS OFFLINE

steve rogers: it's crazy how such a small person can invoke so much fear in me

scott lang: he wasn't even mad at me but i'm terrified

clint barton: lol just wait till we get our grades,, if i were you scott i'd leave this chat now before that happens

scott lang: thanks for the heads up

scott lang: i'll probably just leave now because the last time i turned my phone off after being in this chat i opened it to over 100 texts and at least half of them were about how hot nat was when she was threatening people so

scott lang: i'm outta here, thanks for having me :')

scott lang HAS LEFT THE CHAT

clint barton: that kid was so babie oh my god

loki odinson: soft vibes

clint barton: FINALLY SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS MY LANGUAGE,, i take back all the mean things i said about you you can most definitely stay

loki odinson: i honestly couldn't care less whether you want me in this chat or not

clint barton: you're so mean to me :(

loki odinson: get used to it

[end of college au]