Won Over

Q

"What you're telling me is that you've been able to locate him?" I enquired once more just to be certain.

"Yes." He answered, blowing the puffs of smoke from his cigarette directly into my face.

"Good. How much time do we have before he moves again?" My eyes stung, but I refused to show weakness.

"Two months."

I smiled.

That's sufficient time to effect my plan, since he always changed his location every two months. Before then, I would have accomplished what I have in mind.

"It's showtime." He concluded.

"Hey! That's my line." I complained. Then to annoy him in an act of vengeance for taking the words right out of my mouth, I flicked the cigarette out of his mouth.

He threw me a dark glare, but I just pointed at him then at the cigarette. "Racie, this is very badie. Makes your lungs blackie." I said, attempting to mimic Minto - the priest we went to the other time when I had head issues.

He just rolled his eyes and then proceeded to bring out another from his pocket. He lit it, both of us watching rings form out of the smoke.

I sighed as I watched him puff incessantly.

He had talent. We all did, actually.

Unfortunately, we weren't making use of it positively.
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Lately, I have been desiring the feel of the night's cool breeze, so tonight I put on my black jeans, and a black top with sneakers before venturing out.

I didn't bother to tell my overprotective brother, friends or  boyfriend as I didn't need anyone's company at the moment.

At times they treat me like a fragile piece of glass that can break any moment and I don't like it. I believe I'm stronger than I appear.

I know I am, actually.

After walking around aimlessly for a while, I finally decide I've had enough. I began to make my way back home, looking at the stars occasionally as I walked.

I found myself wishing I was like one of them - adding light to the universe. Instead, the darkness inside me was beginning to feel overwhelming and once again I felt the desperate urge to find a way out of the world just like before.

But with the dark thoughts of suicide came thoughts of Neri alongside.
Why on earth did he save me? Why would he put his life on the line for someone he didn't know? Someone he had never met before?

I had no answer to these questions  but I knew one thing for sure, if he hadn't saved my life at the expense of his I wouldn't be here today.

I didn't even realize I had stopped walking by now, my mind regurgitating memories I had kept hidden for too long.

I had stopped shedding tears over anything long ago. I learnt it never changes anything. Only makes you seem vulnerable and you'll be considered as a weakling.

I was not a weakling. Not anymore.

I let out a short humorless laugh. For so long I have stayed silent, my rage slowly gathering momentum inside of me. It was time to let it out, to completely engulf and destroy my target. And frankly, I didn't care if it left destruction in its wake.

Blinking in surprise, I was snapped out of my reverie, when I felt a droplet land on my cheek. I looked up to see how this came about, and I realized that it was starting to drizzle.

Standing still under the rain as it fell, first lightly, then heavily, I sincerely hoped it would wash the darkness and rage away and give me peace of mind.