Tomorrow [Ethan Dolan fanfic]//COMPLETED

Chapter 9

Chapter 9: truly beautiful?

"So, what about that birthday party?" Ethan asked me.

We were wandering in that backyard and we're just admiring the view.

"Well, Billie seems to be so in love with her boyfriend Ashton to the point that she can't last one week without surprising him. So that is basically going to be a birthday party for Ashton, her boyfriend" I said in the most uninterested voice anyone will ever get the chance to hear.

"Alright, I can pick you up" he turned his gaze to me.

"Wait, no it's okay Ethan-"

"Faith, I will pick you up. Just text me when you get ready and send me your location so I can make it to your place" he looked at me and said in an affirmative tone as if I didn't have a choice. "But oh", he stutters, "I've never actually gotten the chance to ask for your phone number, I gave you mine but you never texted!".

"Oh yeah...Sorry I totally forgot". I immediately gave him my phone number right after that.

Everything seems so easy when he's around. Would I actually give my phone number to a..."stranger"?I'd rather pull out each of my teeth and swallow them all together . Would I ever consider getting into a stranger's car? I'd rather crawl back home on my knees. Would I ever not feel my anxiety attacking me every time I try to keep a conversation going? Well it only hits me on days that do end with a "Y".

But everything seems too normal with him, with Ethan. I know nothing about him except for his name, his age, his dream job and...where he lives? I literally know nothing about him that can assure me when he's around, yet I still feel "okay" while talking to him. What if I knew a lot more about him? I guess I would totally feel myself then.

Huh, what a lie! I will literally never be capable of being myself around people no matter how good they might be. But that guy makes me question the word "never" every single time...

"Alright, let's go now", he jumps in front of me and makes his way to his car. He's wearing a denim pair of jeans with a black t-shirt. He also smells so good. Damn it!

We got into the car and he was glancing at me a lot while driving with a slight smile on his face.

"What's wrong? Well, I know my face isn't the best thing to look at, it has been breaking out a lot lately and I'm not wearing any foundation at the moment, so your looks are making me kind of uncomfortable, stop -"

"You're beautiful", he interrupted.

My heart's about to drop on the ground.

"What did you just say?" I ask him with a really low voice tone and kept my gaze stuck on him..

"I said that you're beautiful. It's hard for someone to take their eyes off of you. I get it now, I get why these guys at your school can't stop whistling your name every time you walk by"

"Why are you trying to say that you love me meanwhile you barely know me?"

"What does being called beautiful have to do with loving you?" he slightly smirks and if he was making fun of what I just said. "You can hate someone and yet still find them beautiful!". The butterflies inside my stomach already started their usual fight.

I've never been called beautiful unless someone wants something from me. I just feel like people flirt with me just to get what they want. And when they get it, they're gone.

I was smiling  the whole ride until he dropped me back to where I've parked my car. I tried to hide my smile for as long as I could but it only seems like I failed.

Failure is my friend.

"Why are you trying to hide your smile?" he holds my chin once he stopped the car. "Oh and, I hope I don't see any more hoodies on such a sunny day...". I'm not even surprised by the fact that he knows that I am trying to hide my scars. He knows that I'm suicidal so cutting won't be much of a secret.

"Alright", I say, moving my chin away from his soft hand. He is touching me for the first time since we met, since the last four days, I love the irony. "Now, let me get into my car now and I'll see you..." I stutter again, "I'll see you some time later, bye!"

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I took a quick shower and made a little cut on the wrist. A very little slight one this time.

Progress.

Then I remembered that I have some homework to do, so I wrote my two hundred words English essay and tried to read some notes I took last week because I'm writing a math quiz tomorrow.

It was already 9 p.m. so I did my skincare routine and made myself a cup of tea. I laid on my bed, holding the cup of tea in one hand and my cell phone in the other. I played some rock n' roll songs while scrolling down on instagram.

And that's when it hit me hard. There was that one quote on my feed: "Being called beautiful by a stranger is better than being called pretty by a friend. Friends are used to say it by strangers really mean it-unknown source"

Wow, this reminds me of Ethan.

Then, I took my personal journal and wondered what shall I be writing about other than Liam. The only thing I managed to write was: "Beautiful- Ethan".

I honestly got bored of writing the same thing everyday. I got bored of writing how Liam destroyed my heart into pieces during our junior year prom. I got bored of writing about how he dumped me in the middle of that prom night in front of everyone, just because "there are sexier girls that he could be dancing with tonight". I got bored of writing how I was left alone during that night, how I got strange stares from everyone, and how I got back home crying. I got bored of writing about how much I miss the two years we've spent together, I got bored of writing about how much I loved Liam, and how much it hurts that I call him my "ex" now instead of  calling him my "boyfriend". I got bored of writing the same story again and again.

Did my journal got bored of me as well? If my journal was a human being, it would have probably gotten bored of the same stories I tell everyday and it would have left me by now, just like everyone eventually does.

"Just wanted to say good night and thanks for the lunch today. Ttyl xoxo" I texted. I just felt rude for not thanking Ethan enough for taking me to lunch today.

Surprisingly and in a matter of seconds, he instantly replied: "It's okay, I was hungry too anyway haha! Sleep well beautiful x".

That word again...

I finally dropped my phone on the side table of my bed and the journal has fallen into my unzipped backpack that was also right next to my bed. I was feeling too sleepy to be even picking it up back so I just decided to leave it there and take it out tomorrow.

I fell asleep in a matter of seconds but the only thing I was aware of is that slight smile I kept on my tired face during the first few minutes of my sleep.

Author's note: soooo... you guys know now who Liam is!