Hell Has A New Name

11

Juice rushed to mentally get his shit together, at least enough to try and explain himself. What could he say? I'm Juan better known as Juice, an escaped convict sentenced to die by my own club. I've killed people, been on drugs, smuggled guns, I'm technically dead. My rapist helped me get across the country and I feel a deeply rooted connection to him that forces me keep in touch with the bastard. Also he bought that awesome car I got and I didn't wreck my bike I disassembled it and shipped it around the country. Nice to meet you.

That would never fucking work and he knew it. His entire life was fucked up. Someone like her had no business with someone like him. Oh yeah, there's the part where why he is really going to Nebraska, what would she say to that? The more he thought about the reality of his life the more he realized that it was completely unbelievable, he could tell her everything and she'd never believe it.

This girl didn't owe him a thing, nothing, not one ounce of her kindness but she gave it so freely. He felt lucky for her that it had been him she so willingly trusted. What if he'd been some of his brothers, hell anyone else really? He shuddered to think of the things that could have happened to her, just meeting strangers like she had.

There was decency deep inside of him, but he'd long sense forgotten how to just be that person. He really hoped he wouldn't be the reason she loses her humanity. She would lose it, of course she would right? Everyone does eventually, you become so jaded by everything that happens to you. He was beyond jaded, despite his emotional outbursts he was prone too displaying he often felt numb and cold.

He got everything packed neatly into his backpack and shopping bag, sending her text that he was on his way down. The elevator was ungodly slow, he didn't think it was ever going to make it to the lobby.
He used the time to try and collect his thoughts.

She was sitting at a bistro table, sipping a coffee. She looked sweet, calm, nothing like she'd looked when she walked out of his room earlier.

"Hi Amber." He spoke softly as he came up beside her. She smiled awkwardly, he noticed her hands were shaking slightly now that he was close enough to see.

He pulled out a chair across from her, sitting himself slowly. "I just want to say again, that I'm sorry for earlier. There is no excuse for what I did. Not really."  He looked sad as he spoke, he took a breath readying himself for her to yell or walk away.

She looked at him with sympathy and that was almost worse than the anger he expected. "You don't owe me an explanation, we barely know each other. I do think you should talk to someone though, a professional. You almost killed me Micheal."

He nodded, feeling like the garbage he'd come to accept he was. She didn't deserve this, and he didn't deserve her understanding. The thought of her just letting him or anyone get away with that sort of behavior, he got it. It was reflective of himself, but he hated her for it. She was worse than Tully, at least he deserved Tully.

He took a breath and looked at her apologetically for the things he was going to tell her.

"Okay." He held his hands up in surrender. Hate was never something he'd been good at. "This might take a while. You're still here, so telling you the truth can't hurt I guess." He gave her a crooked shy grin.

"Michael." She sighed, every time she said that name, it felt more like his own, he liked hearing it.
"I meant what I said last night. You're stuck with me as long as you put up with me. Just tell me what you're comfortable sharing." She laughed lightly, patting his forearm for comfort.

"When I was a kid, I lived in Queens. Typical family, I didn't know my biological dad, but the man who raised me was a good guy. He stepped up for me and my mom. My mom is a nurse, she worked a lot, that's how she met dad. He was a doctor, specifically he was an oncologist, he dealt with a lot of hard shit ya know. So I grew up well, despite living in Queens and hardly seeing my parents. I spent a lot of time with Monique, she was a teenage baby sitter. Well she was a lot of things... I'll get to that."

He smiled at his memory, and then shook it off, picking back up.

"Queens is a shit hole really, but the majority of dads patients lived there, the hospital was there, that's where mom was living when she met him, she was already pregnant with me. Commuting in New York is a bitch. Anyway, he swept mamí off her feet, put a ring on her finger before she started even showing, bought them nice brownstone style place, somewhere she'd never thought she'd end up. Anyway, I'm just rambling, anything you don't want to hear just tell me to shut up." He pauses waiting for a response.

Amber didn't say anything just kept looking at him, it was easy for him to relax make eye contact with her, so far he hadn't lied. Truth was it felt kind of good to talk about where he'd come from. No one had heard the truth about who he was, not since he'd left New York. He was going to tell her the truth, most of it. Some of the shit from his past was more than enough to justify the obvious PTSD episode he'd had earlier. He wouldn't even have to tell her about Charming at all.