Hell Has A New Name

29

"Shit. Fuck, fucking god dammit!" He slammed the laptop closed, jumping from his chair he started pacing. His breath was coming in short frantic waves, he tried to steady himself.

"Did you fucking do this? Huh? Fucking tell me the truth Amber!" He shouted at her, cornering her against the couch.

She was stunned, uncertain of what he was on about. Though the information she had learned did give insight to his paranoia. He didn't trust her, not really, below the surface was a festering wound that wasn't going to heal.

"Micheal calm down." She tried to keep her voice steady, getting her hands between them. Tears streaked her face in terror now, a part of her regretted getting tangled up in his mess. He gripped her cheeks between his finger and thumb holding her face very close to his. His big brown sad eyes, no longer looked on the verge of tears but pure unfiltered hatred flashed in them.
"Please Micheal. J-Ju--- she stuttered trying to get out his real name. As if her life were some fucked up fairy tale and calling the monster by his real name would defeat him.

"Shut the fuck up. Unless you have anything useful to say. Do you know him? You fucking work with him don't you. You got fucking clovers or crosses tattooed on you somewhere?"

She couldn't speak, fear ran through her, this man that had been so gentle and kind didn't seem to exist. "Who Micheal? Who do I know? I don't know what you're talking about." She cried, pleading with him to back up. "Juan Carlos! I k-know who you are." She screamed in his face, hoping either the words or the shrill of her voice would bring him back.

"What the fuck did you call me?" He did take a step back, giving her some room to breathe.

"Juan Carlos. I searched you online. I don't know anyone, I promise." She kept crying, not moving from her spot against the couch. "Please tell me what's going on." She sank to the floor, unable to hold herself upright any longer.

His eyes lost all sign of life, going cold and dark. His grin reminded her more of the Joker than of the charming one Micheal wore. "I'm sorry Amber. It's probably best if you don't stay here any longer. I'm too damaged, and you're too dangerous."

"What the fuck Micheal! You don't just give up like that. I want to help you. I have been helping you. If you want me to go in the morning I'll go. You're buying my fucking plane ticket." She stood back up, no longer interested in the activities they'd previously planned. "Asshole." She muttered as she walked back down the short hallway to the bathroom to finish dressing.

His mind was reeling, how would Tully know where he was? Did he really have enough clout to get transferred? Why the fuck would he get transferred if he were unsure they were staying? This was all too much for him to process, he needed to know what was going on. Tully would arrive in a few days, plenty of time for him to make contact with someone in the AB. Call it bravery or stupidity it wouldn't be the first time he'd done something for what he thought was a noble cause only to fuck himself over.

He dove back into his computer, accessing the prison page again. Tully only had a few people listed on his visitor log, oddly enough none of the Sons were on it. Just as Juice had suspected, all of those meets were off the books. He took a deep breath, and then added his own new name. He was voluntarily going to face to devil, what the hell was wrong with him? He was seriously loosing his mind, as far as he figured. Not being able to contact Tully meant not being able to warn him first. He thought of all the possible outcomes, all the things he could do to mess with the man.

He could buy the room, but why would he want to be alone with the guy? He couldn't risk that, not now. He'd make him come to him, in general visiting. He could only hope that Tully didn't refuse a visit from someone he wasn't expecting. Money could take care of that too. While he was busy blowing Tully's money anyway he may as well make him waste some on himself.

He found himself wondering what the man would think when he saw him. Would he smile, frown, be happy, pissed off? Would he finish him off? Would he hug him? Why the fuck did he want him too? Why was he hoping the rapist bastard would be happy to see him? Familiarity breeds comfort they say, but it also harbors a danger. He slammed his head down on the bar, pissed at himself and this fucked up rolled coaster he was involuntarily riding. He owed Amber an apology but a part of him wished she would leave. Then he wouldn't have to feel guilty when she got killed, because she would. Everyone he loves either gets killed or hurt, all of them.

Chibs far as he knew was still alive, but he'd hurt him so badly it would never be repaired. The man told him to swallow his gun, and dammit now he wished he had. The hell of wondering what he was doing, if he was alright, how the club was doing was almost too much. The even worse side of that was that they club, specifically Chibs was looking into his death, disappearance and crimes. Juice could never find out why, because he could never see them again. He would just have to keep running from the reaper, and pleading that he take mercy on the idiots who chose to ever love him.