EVAK/HENJEI ONE SHOTS

[33] d i s a p p e a r e d

THIRD PERSON POV
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"uh, even?" isak asked meekly after their show had finished, laying down in their bed as he watched even searching through his drawers for a shirt.

"hm?" even hummed in response, hands flipping through his clothing.

isak fidgeted with his fingers in hesitation, "i wanted to ask you about something..." he said quietly, eyes still stuck on his boyfriend as he waiting for even to divert his attention away from his clothes and to him instead.

even, still being too distracted to notice isak's timid tone, grabbed a black t shirt and turned back around to face the smaller boy as he slipped it over his upper half. "yeah?"

"well, i-" isak stuttered shyly, glancing down at his hands as he mentally debated if he should even ask this question. "i wasn't sure if it was true so i didn't want to say anything, but sana had told me something that one of her brother's friends had said about you, and i was just... curious, i guess."

even's expression suddenly became serious at the mention of sana's brother and his friends. he had a deep past with those guys that he tried to forget about, and whatever isak was told was already beginning to worry the taller boy in fear that isak would look at him differently. the thing is, the even that used to hang around those guys was a completely different person.

he was depressed, alone and dealt with too much to be trying to figure it out himself at that age. even tried to shut that part of his life out of his brain, so now that isak was bringing it up- anxiety struck through his body at the sudden reminder that that time of his life really did happen.

"what'd she tell you?" he replied, trying his best to keep his tone calm and chill in worry that he'd startle or scare isak if he became too flustered or eager to know.

isak felt even's gaze burning into his head and met his eyes once more. as much as isak knew he was trying to relax, he could tell that even was stiff and a hint of alert flashed in his eyes.

"just some stuff that... i don't know, worried me." isak said under his breath, trying not to spring it on his boyfriend and cause him to panic, because if what sana told him was true- it would definitely be a touchy subject.

"isak," even said softly, tilting his head in understanding and walked back towards the bed. "you know you don't have to keep anything from me. whatever it is, just say it. i'll be fine."

isak looked away, still feeling a bit nervous in hopes to not hit a soft spot. "alright..." he started slowly, a long interval in between that made the silence gnaw at the two of them. "she said that when you went to elvebakken and hung out with her brothers that you... that you tried to harm yourself."

even froze, somehow expecting him to say that yet still being surprised that he did. he hated when anyone brought it up and honestly wished isak hadn't. he stood there, silently and anxious as flashbacks flooded his brain from that dark time of his life.

even flinched when a warm, gentle touch met his hand, snapping him out of his thoughts as he looked down at isak who reached out to clutch his hand in comfort. "we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." isak assured.

isak watched closely as the taller boy paused, staring at him as even contemplated on telling him. even eventually inhaled deeply, laying down on the bed so that he was on his side, facing isak.

"it's okay. you deserve to know." even replied, forcing a weak smile before sighing. "as you know, i'm bipolar which means i have manic and depressive episodes. one day, some... stuff went down between me and one of the guys from our friend group. they all pretty much turned on me and it triggered my disorder... causing me to pretty much go haywire on everyone. i wasn't thinking straight, i felt alone and scared- i thought it'd be better if i just...—"

isak listened carefully and intensely, caressing even's hand with his thumb in a soothing manner to silently urge him to continue. "if you just disappeared?" he finished for him, helping him out so he didn't have to say the awful word they were both thinking of.

even glanced at him, his expression softening as he nodded slowly. "yeah, something like that." he murmured, looking away from isak again. "so yeah, i did harm myself- but just know that i wasn't thinking straight at that time. i wasn't doing well, but times have changed. i have you, and now i'm happy. you make me so happy, isak. so please, don't worry about anything like that ever happening again. okay?"

isak stared at him in disbelief and complete shock. it was insane how in love he was with even, and he couldn't help but lean forward to connect their lips for a brief moment as he started to get choked up at even's sweet words. "i love you." isak mumbled against his lips, running fingers through even's hair. "thank you for telling me."

"i love you, too." he replied and kissed isak again, their kiss much deeper and passionate this time. "i'm sorry that i worried you."

"it's okay, as long as you're doing better and safe."

"i am." even hummed, smiling at the smaller blonde and began peppering his face with small, loving kisses.