Hi everyone! I suggest while reading this chapter you listen to Tell Me How by Paramore. That's where I basically got the inspiration for this chapter. Thank you!
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Jin's POV
I woke up in an my room I tried to remember what happened earlier, I know I was with Namjoon. Why am I home?
"Are you that desperate Jin? Why are you here? Is it not enough thay I told you I don't love you, you slut? Why do you need to follow me here?"
The moment I remembered those words tears started to fall again. I can't take it anymore. The pain is too much. This heartache is already too much. I know I have done nothing wrong in our relationship, I have been faithful all these years, yet he has the nerve to call me a slut. He even slapped me. This is the first time that he has hurted me physically.
Where did I went wrong?
I didn't noticed the time, and I don't know how long I have been crying until Namjoon came holding my medicine and a glass of water.
"I called Jimin ans he said you should drink this medicine. Here, take this. Stop crying over him, Jin. He doesn't deserve you. Also, I'm sorry I didn't know he was there. If I knew I won't bring you along with me. I'm sorry this is my fault."
Namjoon knew what happened between me and Taehyung. I told him everything and he helped me to gradually return to my old self. I thought I was okay, I'm alive, I'm still breathing until Taehyung happened again. I don't know what I should do now. All the things I have tried hard to put together was now in shambles, I'm totally lost again.
"It's okay. It's not your fault. This will be over, soon. I'll be happy again, Jonnie don't worry." I faked a smile to reassure him.
He sighed and pat my head. He shouldn't worry more about me. He has done too much. I can't be anymore burden to anyone now. I have to do something. I needed to do something.
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Namjoon's POV
I woke up and it's 3am. I'm still here in Jin's apartment, after seeing how devastated he is last morning, I can't let him be alone in his house. I checked on him from time to time and due to fatigue, I didn't noticed I slept on his couch.
I quickly sat up and went to Jin's room. I'll just check if he is already asleep. When I tried to open the door, it's locked.
I tried knocking multiple times already but Jin is not answering. I don't get any response from Jin. I'm starting to panic.
"Jin! Answer me! Jin!"
It's impossible for him not hear me. I kicked the door and the sight that greeted me made my knees weak.
Jin is sitting on the floor, head hung low with a bunch of medicine scattered on the floor.
"No! JIN! SHIT! What have you done!"
I quickly hurried him to the hospital where Jimin works. I needed to get him there fast before it's too late.
When I arrived in the hospital they quickly attended to Jin and went to the E.R. I'm worried sick for him. I texted Yoongi and Hoseok what happened since they are the closest friends he has.
I should've known this can happen why have I not thought of that? I thought he was okay to refrain from thinking of harming himself agan.
After an hour Yoongi and Hoseok came. Yoongi is the first to speak.
"Namjoon, what happened to Jin hyung."
I told them what happened in my studio up to now. Hoseok cried and Yoongi kept calm but fury is seen in his face and his fist is clenched.
"Namjoon I need to talk to you."
Jimin went out of the E.R. and talked to me.
"Seokjin is being transferred to the ICU for further observation. He has taken a lot of dosage of his medications and it's a good thing you brought him here immediately and we managed to treat him ASAP. But we needed to observe him for what possible side effects it has on him. And we saw this in his pocket. I think this is for you."
He handed me a paper. I opened it and saw what's is said inside.
Joonie,
If you have this letter, this means I'm dead or I'm dying. I know you wouldn't want me to do this but I have to. I'm sorry.
I just want you to know that I really thank you. From the day I met you up to now you have always been my savior. If it is not for you I might have died earlier and never get to see Hobi, Yoongi and Taehyung once again. But because of you I get to experience it one more time. I get to feel somethings again and I am very grateful about it.
But this time, Joonie, this time I can't really handle it all. There seems no hope now. Everytime I tried to be okay things are always messing up.
You out of all people knew what I went through throughout that one whole month, and I wish for you to keep it that way. Let not any soul know what happened. I don't want anyone to burden about me.
I know you'll be sad with what I'm about to do, but this is the only way I see to be happy. After all, I have no worth in this world. No matter how you comfort me Jonnie, that fact still doesn't change that I'm now worthless and I'm not worthy to be loved again the same as before. So maybe, if I die, maybe then I'll be able to rest. I won't be sad anymore. I won't feel the pain anymore. No one's going to harm me ever again Joonie. And that's the only thing I really want for now. A peaceful life.
Don't worry, I may not be with you physically, I'll always be by your side whatever you do. I'll always treasure you. Always remember that you are one of the best things that has happened to me. And I hope in our next life you would meet a better Jin than this messed up version of myself.
Also, Jonnie one last favor please give Taehyung my last letter to him. You will find it in my room. Please give me this Joonie. One last time.
Till I meet you again.
- Jin
I cried after I finished reading his letter. I left the hospital with Yoongi and Hobi taking care of Jin.
This will not be the last time hyung.
And I will not obey you. Taehyung needs to know what really happened. He needs to know how his assholeness has devastated you.
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