Taehyung's POV
Jin is still not waking up. Namjoon's brother, Jimin, said that his body needs to recover from all the sttess and fatigue that he experienced. And in a span of 24 to 48 hrs he should wake up.
I went to Jin's apartment to get a little sleep. Namjoon and Hoseok is there to look for Jin. I didn't want to rest but they pushed me to do so. They said I needed it and would call me if Jin finally wakes up. It has been a day since he was admitted to the hospital and we are really anticipating for him to wake up any time soon. I went straight to his room and laid there.
Minutes passed but I can't seem to really have the will to take a rest. My mind keeps on thinking about Jin. I really do miss him.
I was in the missed of rummaging through his things when I noticed a notebook on his desk.
===
05-05-19
It's been days since I lost the air I breathe but it I'm drinking my self to death that night thinking of what wrong I might have done in my entire life to be punished liked this. My whole being was being torn and I felt like I was sent to hell a billion times. My life was useless. I'm useless. There is no point of living now. Taehyung was gone.
I was in the bar counter that night looking at the people dancing till their heart's content. I envy them they are living the best life while I'm here miserable. I smiled bitterly at that thought.
As I remembered it was past midnight and I'm already tipsy. I want to go home now. As I was heading home a group of guys grabbed me by the arm and dragged me out of the place. I was really weak that time I can barely move my body to refuse. But I'm afraid that they might kill me. But what they did to me, I wished they just killed me instead.
I remembered them bringing me to an osolated place. A vacant lot. With no lights or any building near me. I want to shout and scream but no one hears me. They just laughed at my face and did horrible things with me.
They we're five people. One was abusing me in my ass while the other was fucking my mouth. I felt dirty that time. Everytime I cry or whimper they will thrust harder and will cause me pain. They will whisper things to me such as 'You deserve this little whore. You like it huh.' They ripped my clothes and I was left with nothing.
I beg and plead with them to stop what they are doing but they seem to enjoy my pain. They will bruise different parts of my body and slash my back with a knife. I wish I was dead that moment.
I thought they were done but the other two did the same to me. I kept crying and crying feeling filthy of myself. I don't know when they finished. All I know was they left me behind to die.
A strong arms lifted me and brought ne somewhere.'Im sorry to what happened. This is the least thing I can do. I'm sorry I couldn't do anything.'
I asked him who he is but all I heard was ' ...kook'
The next thing I knew I was in the hospital a man named Namjoon with his brother Jimin saved me.
I can't tell anyone what happened. It's enough thay Jimin and Namjoon knew the basic details. I can't tell anyone everything.
I won't tell anyone anything.
===
I finished reading that page alone and I can't seem to continue. I don't want to. I can't handle it. I don't want to know how horrible he has experienced. Not now. This is too much.
I should be the only one making love to him. Me alone. But because of what I did he was abused by those bastards and I was not there to protect him.
I broke down that morning. Balming myself to what happened and how I can never turn back time and save Jin from pain.
My phone started ringing and answered it.
"Taehyung, Jin hyung is awake."