[[[the wonderful mess that we've made]]] [[[part iii]]]

17.

We walked around the site, not really going anywhere and not really speaking much. We talked about work, the bands she'd been with, where i'd been. It felt nice to have a normal, if somewhat strained conversation. I still didn't know where we stood but it was a start. We'd got past what had happened and to the point of talking. Maybe there could still be a future for us. The relief that washed over me was indescribable.

It got dark quickly and along with the setting of the sun, it became cold. I noticed her shaking.

'Here.' I stopped and took off my hoodie and helped her into it, then zipping it up to her chin. It buried her, but she looked so cute wearing it.

'Thanks.' She smiled.

'Maybe we should get back...?' I suggested.

'Not yet.' She said quietly. We must've walked the entire length of the huge site and not once did anyone notice me. It felt nice to be so anonymous. We got some food from a burger van and sat on the grassy floor by the fairground. I looked up at the Ferris wheel.

'Do you want to go on?' I asked once our burgers had gone. I stood up first and pulled her up by the hands. I paid as she got into the cage.

I sat beside her and she leaned into me, her head in the nook of my shoulder. She took my hand and entwined our fingers. Again, we didn't speak. We each just looked around at the lights and the world below us. For miles all we could see were tents and strings of lights, campfires and masses of people.

This is what I'd missed. Just being with her. Just knowing that this beautiful woman was in my life. I knew it was probably too soon, but I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to feel those lips against mine. I hadn't been this close to another person since our fight. But with her it felt like home. We had spoken about meeting up when we were both free in a few weeks so we could just evaluate things. But it was too far away. In that moment I would've happily quit the band and spent every waking moment with her.