You Get Me | A Bucky Barnes Love Story

Eleven ~ With the Girls

October 25th, 2016

Maya:

Natasha slammed me down on the mat when I went in for a jump kick and quickly maneuvered my hands so that I was completely unable able to move them. I tapped out for the second time today. She quickly let me go and got off of me. She offered her hand to help me up but I shake my head no and keep sitting on the ground trying to catch my breath. Natasha walks out of the wrestling ring for a few seconds only for her to walk back in with both of our water bottles. She threw me mine and I caught it with ease as she sat down across from me.

"What's wrong?" Natasha asked.

"Nothing," I said blankly while staring into the distance at the punching bags.

"Maya, I'm not stupid. Every single time we've sparred before, you've won, very easily, and now I've beaten you twice in a row. And might I add that we're both trained spies in espionage and combat which means I can tell when someone is lying, and so can you. So what's wrong?" She demanded. I knew Natasha would sense there was something wrong, and I knew she would make me tell her. This past week she had told me everything, her whole life after the Red Room, and I hadn't told her much at all. I figured I owed her this one small explanation.

"... Therapy didn't go as well as expected," was all I could say. It was true, the therapist was more interested in talking about our past than actually trying to make us feel better about it. She didn't give us any advice or anything to try and cope.

"What do you mean?"

"Therapy wasn't really..." I said. I couldn't find the right words to express how unhelpful the therapist was for me.

"What? Really what?" Natasha asked.

"...Therapeutic?" I said. There were no other words to describe the therapy session. "Therapy wasn't really therapeutic, I guess," I finalized my sentence.

"How so?" Natasha asked.

"I guess it's just that I just thought therapy would help me cope with my past. But it just made me realize how much I still hate myself for it," I whispered because I didn't want anyone else in the training facilities to hear me, as we had been joined in the gym by Clint and Sam (along with Steve who was there when I entered the gym).

"Oh honey, come on. Nothing that has happened to you is your fault," Natasha said while standing up. "Come on, we're gonna get you cleaned up and we're having a girls' night with Wanda okay?" Natasha offered me her hand which I took and let Natasha drag my full body weight off the ground. Once she finally got me up I sulked out of the wrestling ring and grabbed my towel.

"Okay," I agreed. I wiped some of the sweat on my face and took a swig from my water bottle, "Okay, let's go."

After I got out of the shower I quickly put on some clothes and walked out the bathroom. I was about to knock on Natasha's door when I overheard Bucky and Steve talking and walking down the long hallway that lead to our rooms.

"Steve I don't know, maybe she shouldn't do it again, she seemed pretty shaken up afterwards," I heard Bucky say, his smooth voice was recognizable from anywhere at this point.

"Come on Buck, I really think it'll help the both of you." I heard Steve's approaching voice say.

"Okay, I'll talk to her but don't expect her to say yes. We both know she's the stubborn type," Bucky said. Well, he got that right. I'm probably the most stubborn assassin you'll ever meet. I honestly didn't know if I wanted to go back to therapy but that one appointment did a lot of damage to my self-esteem in the ninety minutes that I was sitting beside Bucky on that couch. Before Bucky and Steve could see me I knocked a few times on Natasha's door and she said a quick 'it's open' and I slipped inside.

Inside Natasha's room, Wanda was already sitting on the bed while Natasha was in the bathroom towel drying her fiery red hair. I approached Natasha's bed and said hi to Wanda.

"Hey, Maya," Wanda said in her washed-out Sokovian accent. I sat down on the bed beside Wanda.

"Hey, Wanda. What's up?" I asked. I hadn't gotten too many chances to talk to Wanda this past week, but from what little information I gathered, Wanda seemed like a sweetheart, but she was shy and very closed off, but she had a very good reason to be.

"Nothing much really. You?" she asked to keep the conversation going.

"Just a bad day," I blankly said. I heard the bathroom door click and with that Natasha walked out in sweatpants and a tank top.

~

Since it was me having a shitty day, I got to pick the movie. Natasha had yelled at Sam and Tony to get out of the screening room because the three of us needed it.

My favourite movie, Singin' in the rain, had just finished playing as the credits were rolling down the dark screen. It was around midnight and all I wanted to do right now go back to my room and do nothing.

"Guys, I'm gonna call it a night. You two have fun," I said while standing up, taking some of the garbage that Natasha, Wanda and I had made a mess out of because Tony kept a lot of junk food in the cupboards of this place.

When I get back to my room, I notice that Bucky wasn't there, all the lights were shut off and he wasn't in his bed. I notice his beat-up hand wraps weren't sitting on the desk like they usually were, which meant he was punching his problems away like he had been doing for the last few nights.

I take a quick shower and throw on a new pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, I steel a blanket from Bucky's bed and practically throw myself onto the couch before I'm out like a light.