You Get Me | A Bucky Barnes Love Story

Twenty Eight ~ Restoration

November 30th, 1:15 am

Maya:

Natasha had told me to meet her in the kitchen at this time so that she could get her computer and steal the drive from Tony's lab that had the files Natasha went digging in. When I knew Bucky was asleep I phased into the shadow dimension and got up. I walked through the door and down the hall to the kitchen to see Natasha and Wanda ready with a computer and the flash drive from Tony's lab, already scrolling down her screen. I phase out of my dimension for both of the girls to look up at me in slight surprise.

"Sorry, I hope you don't mind, I brought Wanda with us," Natasha said. She already knew I wouldn't mind, Wanda and Nat were my closest friends after Bucky, and they both understood how terrible HYDRA really was. 

"Yeah of course," I responded, trying to soften up my voice a bit. I walked over to see all of my records on the screen. My hit list, my training records, the day I got my powers, even the day I escaped. This wasn't just a summary of The Shadow like in the other super-soldier file, this was a freaking novel of my entire life, from start to finish - finish being when I escaped. "Срань господня," (Holy shit) was all I could force out of my mouth in a whisper. These files held information that I didn't even know about myself. 

Natasha, Wanda and I all kept skimming through the information until something caught the attention of all three of us. The file read January 18th, 2008 - Memory wiped. Reason: emotional affair with Winter Soldier. 

"What the hell does that even mean, an emotional affair?" Natasha asked quietly. I thought as hard as I could but I never remember the Winter Soldier and I being anything more than my teacher.

"Hold on... what's that?" Wanda asked before Natasha stopped scrolling. I looked at the random series of letters and numbers she pointed to on the screen, and I immediately knew what it would be. I took the computer from Natasha and turned it towards me. I started writing the algorithm that would allow me to access that data.

"This," I said slowly while I was working. I had gone through this process so many times, it would only take me about half a minute before we could see what was on it. "...is an encrypted video file. I have to run it through the HYDRA database," I said as I finished decrypting the file and a video came up. 

"Do you want to play it?" asked Wanda. Honestly, I wasn't so sure if I did want to see what was in the video, because whatever it was it probably wouldn't be good. But if my memory was wiped, then I want to see what I missed. 

"...I think I should watch it myself before you do," I said slowly, hoping that Natasha and Wanda would understand. They gave me reassuring nods, which was all I needed. I phased myself, along with the computer into the shadow dimension and started watching the video.

The first clip was one of my training with Bucky, I was around fifteen I think. I was shorter, my hair was longer, I was almost emotionless at that time.

"Вы тянете ваши удары!" (You're pulling your punches!) the soldier said. "Бороться!" (Fight!) he yelled. 

Everyone was watching. Every single girl training to be a Black Widow was watching me and the Winter Soldier fight it out in the ring. The problem was when girls in the Red Room fought, it was to the death, and I was definitely going to be the one with the life sentence on their hands. This was the Winter Soldier - Dreykov's prized possession. He had over two dozen bodies on his hit list, he was unstoppable to any of the girls in the Red Room. 

By this time, I was tired, and we had barely gotten started. The man had already landed a number of punches to my face and stomach, and it was getting harder to breathe every minute. In just a few moments he had his metal hand around my throat.

"Достаточно!" (Enough!) said Madame B. I looked over to where she was standing and I could see the disappointment on her face.

The clip then changed once more. I was at the HYDRA base, I was brainwashed and no control over my actions.

"Солдат?" (Soldier?) the man in front of me asked. I immediately straightened my posture and made my self look as tall as I could, not that it would help what was about to come.

"Капитан," (Captain,) I responded on instinct. I was all ready to leave the facility for my next mission, I just had to finish with this briefing.

"извлечь и устранить, нет свидетелей," (Extract and eliminate, no witnesses,) the Captain said, handing me the file. I was to find an undercover SHIELD agent that was supposedly loyal to HYDRA and kill them. They had been leaking our secrets. 

I looked from the file and up to the captain, "Град HYDRA," (Hail HYDRA) was all I said.

The video was almost over, but the clip changed one more time. I was... talking to Bucky?

I was waiting by the stairs for him, just a couple of yards away. I knew Dreykov wanted to speak with him and this would be the only time today I got to see him. I waited a few more moments until I heard the soft thud of tactical boots making their way up the staircase. It was him. He rounded the corner and I immediately stood up out of respect.

"хороший солдат, день," (Good day, soldier) I say to him, trying my best not to let anyone know that the soldier wasn't just someone who trained me.

"Вы тоже, агент," (You too, agent) he says, following my lead. I looked around the empty hallway, making sure we were in the clear. I practically jumped on him when I hugged him. Physical contact wasn't allowed between him and me, except for when he was training me. I knew something was about to happen, Dreykov never calls anyone to his office except for Madame B. This could be the last time I see him. 

"Я скучаю по тебе, вы никогда не вокруг больше." (I miss you, you're never around anymore) I admitted. The words flew out of my mouth, I couldn't hold them in.

"Я знаю, мне жаль. Я думаю, что они собираются переселить меня в ближайшее время," (I know, I'm sorry. I think they're going to relocate me soon) he said. At that, I nearly started to tear up but stopped myself. 'Crying makes you weak,' I reminded myself.

"Нет! Ты не можешь уйти,"  (No! You can't leave) I almost yelled.

"Ты знаешь, что это не в моем контроле," (You know it's not in my control) he said softly while starting to stroke my hair, and my effort to stay optimistic faded. I was going to miss the guy who would sneak into my room to uncuff me from the headboard just so we could talk. I was going to miss not having to fight him in front of everyone that lived in this hellhole because they wanted to see that I was actually good enough to be a Black Widow. I was going to miss having a friend, to miss the feeling of having someone to care about.

Holy shit.

I phased out of the shadow dimension and I was sure Nat and Wanda would look at me and think that I shit myself. 

"What? What is it?" Wanda asked with worry. Was I really ready to show them that? I needed time.

"Could I take a better look at this... in private?" I ask. Both of the girls nod. I knew they'd understand, especially Natasha since everyone found out about her past two years ago. "Thank you, really. I will show you this eventually. I promise," I say. I take the flash drive out of the computer and give the laptop back to Natasha. I start to back up and phase into my dimension. I run back to my room to see Bucky awake. I phased into the real world.

"Bucky?" I asked softly. His head jolted in my direction. He looked terrified, but also like some sort of revelation had come to him. I walked close to him, standing beside his traumatized figure. "Bucky," I say more firmly. He was panting, he had a nightmare and I wasn't there to help him. The shame washed over me. "Bucky, I'm sorry," I whispered. I grabbed his flesh hand while he continued to breathe. "Buck, it's okay now,"

"I remember,"

"...Remember what?" I said confused. 

"I remember you,"