A GIRL LIKE YOU

9

"Are you okay?" Ansh asked concerned at my expression.
No I am not. I am going to have a long conversation or shouting match with Aaliyah as soon as we go home. Because she knows. She knows that I have a thing for you Ansh. And now she is going to lecture me. And I don' want that. Because nothing happend between us. Nothing is going to happen.
"Yeah. I am okay. Aaliyah just texted. I think she saw a really cute dress and wants me to wait while she go and check it out."
"Oh. She doesn't get tired of shopping? Does she?" He said.
"Never. Anyways, you don't have to wait with me. You can leave."
Please don't leave Ansh. Aaliyah is giving me a chance to spend some time alone with you. And I know she is going to lecture me, and tell me this is a mistake and she is a nosey bitch but she is giving me this chance. And I love her for it.
"I'm not going to leave you alone." Ansh said as if he is talking about forever. I'm not going to leave you alone Kiara, ever.
"You don't have to." I said reluctantly. He can't know how desperate I am.
"I want to." He simpy said and I couldn't help but smile.
"That's sweet of you." I said. I stayed silent for a moment and then said the one thing I didn't want to hear.
"Aarav still hasn't picked up any of my calls or seen the texts." He said forwning at his phone.
I don't want to but I still find myself saying, "I guess its just about priorities." I said more to myself. Its stupid to even think about comparing them but still I realise, how Ansh just left the shopping to have lunch with me and is waiting with me here and Aarav couldn't even pick up my call to say that he is busy. I called him twice. Nobody is that busy unless they're having sex. I wonder if he has a girlfriend. That would be the best reason to break off this relationship. But who am I to say? I'm lusting over his best friend.
"Kiara..." Ansh said and I looked up at him. "Aarav is a good guy. Don't let yourself doubt. He can be-"
I don't even give myself a chance to register his words. Because even though I know that Ansh is doing this for his friend and I respect his loyalty, but its just straight annoying how he keeps defending him. I am angry and I can't control myself.
"I might actually believe he is a good guy-" I cut him off. He immediately shuts up, noticing my expression of don't-fuck-with-me and my sharp voice. "-if you would just stop your need to defend him every second. And I know that you don't understand and I don't even expect you to. But I'm not stupid. No one is that busy. No one, Ansh. We all have priorities. And if I'm not his before the marriage, how do I know if I am going to be after it?" I said as my face turned red. I didn't know why I just lost it but suddenly I realised I almost showed Ansh what a raging bich I can be. And I don't want to be any where near him. I bite the need to say sorry. I'm not fucking sorry for feeling this way. Yes I like Ansh but he doesn't get to sit there and tell me what a good guy Aarav is. Part of me know that I also blew up because I wanted Ansh to just talk about us and not bring Aarav but that's just sick. So I stood up and gathered my stuff without looking at Ansh.
"Kiara, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you or-" he began but I cut him off again. "Its fine Ansh. Don't worry about it. I'm gonna go find Aaliyah. See you around." I said and left him standing there looking at me with an unreadable expression.
I didn't even give him a chance to say bye. I just left. Like coward I am. I hate myself.

***
"You promised that you would never hide things from me." Aaliyah finally said after all the weird eyes she gave me the whole ride home.
"I'm sorry." I said as I set all the bags on my bed. Aaliyah locked the door of my room.
"Why? Why do you always think that I wouldn't understand? I mean, yes I was unavailable all those years ago. But now, Kiara you can't say that you...."
"Aaliyah don't talk about years ago. Its in the past. And I'm sorry for not saying anything because there was nothing to say. I met Ansh right before I met Aarav and I liked him better. But that doesn't matter because I am engaged to Aarav. Okay." I want to say to her that don't make this about yourself. But I can't. She is pregnant.
"Thats it? I thought you two are having an affair." She said and I stared at her.
"Are you serious? What do you think of me? Aaliyah, you know me I'm not that selfish girl anymore."
"I'm sorry. It just seemed that way. You two were looking at each other like-"
"Like what?!"
"I don't know. Like Vivaan and I look at each other, maybe."
I huffed and sat down on the bed. Ansh definitely has a thing for me, that much I already suspected.
"What are you gonna do?" Aaliyah said as she sat beside me and took my hand in hers. That's all she need to do. No sorries. No nothing is required after that one gesture in our friendship. I looked at her. She is the best thing that ever happened to me.
"Nothing." I whispered.
"What about the obvious attraction between you two?"
"There's nothing going to happen between us. Ever Aaliyah.We'll get over it. It's just a stupid crush."
I feel like a teenager confusing lust and love and infatuation and crush and all of that shit.
Aaliyah looked at me in sympathy.
"Don't you think it would be unfair to Aarav? That his wife is actually hot for his bestfriend."
I never thought about Aarav. Wow. How did I miss that?
"What can I say Aaliyah? I may not find another guy like Aarav and I'm not gonna break this relation because of a inappropriate crush on a guy who may or may not reciprocate my feelings."
"Are you sure its just a crush?"
I really don't know. Crushes usually go away. But my obsession with Ansh has only grown by each day. But I still lie. More to myself than to Aaliyah.
"Yeah. Its just a crush." I said.
"Come on lets try on all the clothes. Then we'll go cook and watch FRIENDS on comedy central. Just like old times." She is trying to cheer me up. See. The best thing. Friendship is everything to me. Even though I was never a perfect friend, if there is such a thing, but I've experienced that friendship is the only relation in this whole world that has ever given me happiness.
May be that is also the reason I could never come between Ansh and Aarav. I don't even want to think about the idea of them breaking up because of me. I would never do that.
So I smiled up at Aaliyah and let her pull me and cheer me up. And then in the late night, when she decided to stay over, we talked all night. About everything. And life seemed a little less difficult.

...