A GIRL LIKE YOU

29

I left Ansh in the living room as I went in my room and closed the bathroom door. I was shivering so hard. I stared at myself in the mirror. My cheeks are flushed. My hairs are a tangled wet mess. My skin is as cold as ice.
I took a warm shower and changed. I don't know why, but suddenly I was so nervous to see Ansh. Not only because I didn't return his favour of orgasm, but also because what happened up there is going to change everything for us. For better, or maybe for worse.
I waited in my room as I dried my hair. Ansh knocked on the door as he said, "Come out.. I've made you some coffee."
I sighed. I have to face him. I can't put this off. I'm living under his roof.
I opened the door. He stared at me, trying to decipher what's going on inside my head. I walked past him into the kitchen.
I took the warm cup in my hands and inhaled the warmth. If I thought that I could avoid Ansh, then I was full of shit.

I felt him right behind him. His hard warm chest pressed to my back. I took a sip of my coffee as Ansh circled his arms around my stomach. His chin rested on my shoulder.
This feels weird. Different. Good different. But still different.
"What are you thinking?" He asked softly. He brushed my hair away from the side and placed a sweet kiss on my ear.
"I don't know if it's a good idea." I said as I set my cup on the counter.
It's now or never.
I turned around and he let me. His hands stayed around me, his eyes asking hundered questions.
"What are you talking about?"
"About us. We are not a good idea Ansh."
I saw his Adam's apple bob. "Why?"
"Because... I'm.. I was supposed to be married to your best friend."
"Yes, but you're not married to him."
"Ansh.. you're not understanding what I'm saying?"
"What are you saying?" He said and backed away from me.
I missed his warmth.
"I'm saying that-", fuck I don't know what I'm saying, "-it'll get complicated. Whatever this is between us."
"It's not whatever. Don't tell me you don't feel the same connection with me from the moment I saw you."
"Ansh I'm not saying that."
"Kiara, every time when I thought of you with Aarav it made me wanna put my head through a wall. I don't know how I was going to get rid of the feelings I had for you if you'd get married to Aarav. Years, fucking so many years later I finally find a girl I'm instantly attracted to and I can't have her. I felt so guilty when I thought about you like that, you have no idea. And finally, you are here."
"I felt guilty too." I confessed.
"Then what's the problem?"
"What would happen when Aarav comes back?"
"You said you had no connection with him. You said you were relieved when you heard the wedding is off."
"I know what I said. But Aarav is your best friend Ansh. I don't want to be a reason behind the breaking up of your friendship with Aarav. I'm not worth it Ansh. And besides, It doesn't look good. You and I together look very bad. Everybody would think that we had an affair all along. Everybody would think that this has been going on and that we're the reason Aarav left."
"I don't care what Aarav says. I don't care what everybody say. You're worth it all.
"But I care Ansh. I care okay. I won't be able to handle it. We don't look good."
"You weren't so worried about looking good when you were coming hard against that wall on the terrace."
I flinched. Did he just said that. Did he just blamed me for it all? Oh my god. How many blows I can take on my self respect? Yeah, but I have only myself to blame.
The lump in my throat made it impossible for me to shout back at him. I didn't take shit from anyone. God, what happened to me? And here I am, taking shit and about to cry because Ansh matters to me. And that's why it hurts.
My eyes filled with tears. I blinked over and over again. I'm not going to cry. Not in front of him. Fuck him.
I started towards my room. "Shit Kiara.. I'm sorry." Ansh said. I didn't meet his eyes as I walked to my room. He came behind me. "I lost it okay. I got angry. Been waiting for you for almost 6 months and you think it's not worth it."
I just walked in my room and shut my door before Ansh could come in.
"Kiara..Please."
He felt silent after giving the door a few knocks.
I told you it was too good to be true. I'm not someone who gets happiness until there's a very recent expiry date to it.
The thing that hurt the most is that I felt fucking lonely. All alone in the world right in that moment. I know it's a bit too much of a reaction, but given my situation, I'm practically alone. I wanted to call Aaliyah and ask her to come and pick me up. But it's late in night. I'm not going to disturb her. I texted her earlier in the day to tell her everything worked out with Preeti. But I missed her right now.
I just laid down in my bed and covered myself with the warm comfortor. I closed my eyes. The scene of the terrace and Ansh's words echoed in my ears.
Just when I was about to drift off to sleepy world, I heard a wierd clattering sound. It must be the storm. I ignored the sounds.
A few minutes later, I felt a warm body slid beside me and spoon me from behind.
I tried to release myself of his hold, but his voice made me stop. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He chanted over and over again, until I relaxed in his arms. "I'm sorry, Kiara. Please. Don't go to sleep upset like that. We'll talk in the morning about everything. But right now, just tell me that you forgive me."
He sounded genuinely sad. I don't know how he managed to come in the room, but just the gesture of not letting go of me when I'm upset, melted my heart.
"I forgive you." I said and relaxed further in his arms.

The sleep came fast after that and I got lost in the hazy and lusty dreams of Ansh and I doing unspeakable things to each other.

...