A GIRL LIKE YOU

5

"Yes. Of course. What is it?" He asked. He swallowed and moved a little closer to me. Breathe Kiara. Breathe.
I stepped aside as we faced each other just beside the balcony. The cool air brushing my face.
"I... I don't know how to say this." I really don't.
He is nervous. He licked his lips.
"What's it about?" He asked, his voice husky.
"Its about Aarav." I said and it felt like I slapped him. He took a deep breath and stepped back a little. He looked out at the road for a moment and looked back at me finally.
Was he expecting something else?
"What about him?" He asked, this time with normal, indifferent voice.
He definitely suspected something else. He wanted me to say what... Ditch Aarav and lets make out. I am only a slut in my head.
"I know it'll sound stupid. You are his best friend but that's all the more reason for me to ask you this."
"Just say it." He said, already on the verge of being irritated.
"Can you tell me something bad about him?" Here I said it. Ansh looked at me with confusion.
"I mean, I'm not sure about him. And my parents won't break this relation off until I have a legit reason. I just want to find some...."
"Dirt." He completed my sentence. Please don't judge me, Ansh.
"Yeah. Kinda." I looked down.
"Why don't you just tell your parents no if you're not interested?"
Gee, thanks Ansh. Why haven't I thought of it? I wouldn't be standing here making a ass out of myself if it were that easy.
"My situation is complicated. I can't just say no."
Ansh's expression tells me, that he does not understand that at all. I am not going to explain. Its a long story.
"Look its a long story Ansh. I just really don't feel any connection with Aarav. And I really need a reason to break this off."
"Have you allowed yourself to find a connection with him?" He said. Oh no, buddy! We are not playing therapist- therapist. You don't get to read my mind.
"I don't know. I just don't..."
"Look Kiara. I am not judging you. If you don't want Aarav that's your choice. But he is my best friend. So if you're looking for a reason to reject him, you are not going to find one here." He said.
You are a loyal friend Ansh. I give you that. In fact, I respect that. But come on, its not helping me.
"I'm desperate here." I muttered to myself as I stared at my heels. I don't know what to say now. I made a complete ass of myself. Friendship with Ansh is going to be impossible now.
"He is a good guy, Kiara." I looked up at him and see the honesty in his eyes.
"A really good guy who will keep you happy. Give him a chance." He said and smiled at me. I didn't smile back. I am mortified.
Ansh begin to leave me with my thoughts.
"We never had this conversation." I announced. Ansh stopped in his track and looked back at me.
"My mouth is sealed." He said and left me alone.
I breathed hard. Can I find something good in Aarav?
If only you'll allow yourself to. I said to myself. Okay. One thing is clear.
All my past unhealthy relationships have made me moody and emotionally unavailable. Mom is right. Aaliyah is right. Ansh is right. I am not going to find a good guy. My past experience is enough to tell me that. Ansh and I won't have a chance in this lifetime, at least. I might as well give Aarav a chance.
Giving Aarav a chance means that maintaining my distance with Ansh. Ansh. Ansh. Ansh.
This is the last time I'll think of you this way. I took one last deep breath, raised my chin, squared my shoulder and walked out with confidence.

I smiled at everybody. I sat back down. I avoided Ansh. I talked to Aarav. I laughed at his jokes. I made small talk with Preeti.

I ate the burger. I wished Ansh happy birthday one last time. I looked at him for only a second. And then Aarav walked me out. We stood at the curb waiting for my cab.
"So, umm... You look really pretty. I forgot to tell you that." He said.
I smiled at him. "Thank you."
He is not bad. No he is not. Not at all. The cab arrived a moment later. Aarav, surprisingly pulled me into a hug. Its a nice hug. Friendly but nice. He smells good too.
I hugged him back. We release each other say our goodbyes. I settle in the cab.
"I'll call you" he said and the cab pulled away from the curb.
I am gonna do this. I can do this. As soon as I walked into my home, mom came running towards me. She pulled me to the living room beside dad. Dad is pretending to be busy in TV but I'm sure he is very interested in knowing about my night.
"So....how is he?"
"He is nice." I said.
Mom beamed at me. Dad muted the TV.
They both looked at me with raised eyebrows.
"Is that a yes?" Mom asked. She has a excitement of a school girl right now.
"Yes mom." I said. And before I knew it, she jumped and hugged me tightly. Dad broke into a huge smile. He never smiles because of me. If I'd known this would make him smile, I would've gotten married long ago.
"Yes!" Mom squeaked. "We have so much to plan!" She announced.
Well, fuck me.

The next thing I knew, I was talking to Aarav on the phone. I was texting him. I met with his family. The engagement date is being decided. Mom is shopping for me. Dad is making arrangements. Aaliyah is ecstatic and emotional and cranky as she goes on and on about how I am going to enjoy my bachlerotte. My relatives are texting me with congratulations messages. I am being sent to parlour. I am being treated like a project. I am getting married. Its still not sinking in.
Because in the middle of all this chaos, I'm just standing there and looking at
everyone.

Well, this is it. I am getting hitched. With a guy I met thrice. Never thought this day would come.

...