A GIRL LIKE YOU

25

"I've known Preeti my whole life. She used to be Aarav's neighbour. And since Aarav and I were pretty much inseperable from kindergarten, I used to be at his place all the time. Preeti joined us when we were 14. I mean before that we talked to her but we were never friends. But then we began going to the same school and I started seeing a lot of her. So it was a kind of a trio situation. Aarav considered Preeti a sister and she was almost always with us. We were friends for 2 years. Really good friends."
Ansh paused and turned on his back and stared at the ceiling as he continued. "Then I started liking her. I wanted her to be more than friends. But I couldn't tell her so I carried the burden of my stupid crush for another year. Now, Preeti was pretty. So, yeah as soon as she hit 17, she started recieving a lot of attention from boys. So many guys, they would come to me and ask me if Preeti is single, if I could introduce her to them. It pissed me off. I didn't want her to start dating, one of those assholes. So yeah, I confessed my feelings to her."
Please don't tell me that she didn't want him. Because then I'll pretty much want to hit that girl. Because who wouldn't want Ansh? Only a fool.
"I was scared shit less. I thought, she would reject me and our friendship would collapse. But instead, she said, 'Finally! I was going crazy with this waiting.' And just like that we started dating."
I smiled a little, despite myself. That was kind of cute. Preeti knew about Ansh's feelings all along and reciprocated them. Talk about being lucky. That's never happened to me.
Ansh started rubbing his scalp. I slapped his hands. He looked at me and gave me a smile that didn't reach his eyes.
Okay, Preeti is a bitch. Definitely a bitch.
"It was good for a year. We were perfect. I was madly in love. So was she. It was that typical kind of relationship where half of the population envy you and the other half thinks that you're nauseating to watch. So yeah, I was 17, in love with the girl I wanted, we were best friend, there were no issues whatsoever until school ended.
"We applied to the same colleges but at the end she didn't qualify to the exam in the college I've always dreamt of going at. She knew that from the beginning, and she cried a lot when I got qualified. But I somehow talked her into going to the college she got a acceptance letter from. And so we parted ways, as the long distance relationship started."
Ansh suddenly turned at looked directly into my eyes.
"You know Kiara, when I walked into that college I didn't look at one girl. I was so committed, you've got no idea. I thought we could work this relationship out because we were perfect. You know, it was a too good to be true situation. So shit hit the fan when the communication decreased between us. We got busy in our lives. The video calls, calls and texts decreased. Misunderstandings began. She wouldn't trust me. She would just keep having these silly suspicions and doubts. It was almost as if she was trying to find a reason to break it off. We started fighting a lot. I was upset almost all the time, in the beginning of my college life. And since I couldn't drop everything and go and see her, the fights just increased."
He turned towards the ceiling again. He sighed. "Three months into the shitty long distance, I decided I'll go meet her. That was the only way I could make it work. So I did just that. I didn't tell her because after the last fight we haven't talked in 2 days. I decided I'll surprise her. I bought a present for her and I turned up at her dorm room. And guess what?"
Please please no. I don't want this for Ansh. But I can't do anything.
"Please don't tell me she cheated on you." I said.
"No she didn't." I sighed and Ansh ended his sordid tale of broken heart. "She was there having fun with his friends which included a lot of male company. And I've never been a overprotective person but the fact that she would fight me and stop talking to me because I clicked a damn picture with a girl, and do the exact same thing herself. I was pissed off. I shouted and she shouted. She said she can't handle shit anymore."
Now the comment Ansh made earlier made sense.
"I loved her. So I put my self respect in the back and begged her to not break up with me. Then she told me that her life's been hell and she wants to enjoy her college life. She needs a break. She wants to find whats out there."
Oh boy! That had to hurt.
"It hurt me. My heart broke down as I realised that she never loved me the way I did. So I left. We didn't see each, not once Aarav never took her name in front of me for the next 4 years of college. I somehow recovered from the blow and started living again. But then, Preeti's Dad died. I had to be there for her. So we met again. But only this time, I didn't feel a thing for her. Not love. Not hate. Just indifference. I cared about her but only as a friend. So we decided to be friends. As I moved back in the city started my job, Preeti and Aarav and I went back to our old ways."
But I swear I saw something in Preeti's eyes when she left.
"And I never went into another serious relationship after her. But it was about time. I had a job and I had moved on. So I started dating this girl from my work place. When I casually mentioned her in front of Preeti, she started crying. Telling me how much she regrets her decision. How much she wants to get back with me. She told me how every guy she's ever met was nothing compared to me. She wanted to be with me again."
Ansh closed his eyes. "But I couldn't be with her Kiara. I just couldn't. I didn't trust her. I don't feel that way about her anymore. We have a history and I'll always care about her, but I don't have those feelings for her anymore. I told her that and we seperated our ways yet again.
"We only see each other when its necessary. We don't pretend to be friends anymore. We are just two people now and for Aarav's sake I can't cut her out completely. She understands that. But sometimes when she gets all weird when she sees me with other women, sometimes I just want to slap her hard. She ended it, for god's sake. I was ready to marry her and have kids and she ended it and now she has feelings for me which I can't reciprocate and that just makes me feel shitty and pathetic and guilty." Ansh said and covered his face.
Okay. So he is dying of all guilt because he don't have feelings for the girl who he loved and who broke his heart.
Isn't that just, ridiculous?

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