A GIRL LIKE YOU

59

I spent hours on end trying to figure out what I want to do about Ansh. As soon as I deleted his messages and sat down, his words kept coming back to me. One thing I was sure of was that, Ansh was actually sorry. He was actually, genuinely sorry.
Another thing I was sure of was that, I wanted to be with him. I wanted to make our relationship work. Somehow, anyhow. The feelings that I have for him in such a short period of time are way way more than the feelings I had for all the guys combined that had ever came in my life. I know that I love him and I know that it would be stupid to let it go. But their are doubts. So many of them. The very first one is that, what if in time we realise that we made a mistake by rushing into things too soon without getting to know each other properly. What if I never really came out of the insecurities? What if I never really love myself? What if in time, we wouldn't be able to make it work. I know my heart would break like hell, way worse than how it broke 2 weeks ago. What if,  I forgive him and we tell Aarav and Aarav won't feel okay about this? What if, Aarav asks Ansh to choose? What if Ansh chose him over me? Wasn't that the whole point of the fight? Him choosing Aarav before me.

God, I can't for the life of me figure these feelings out. Was it supposed to be this messy, heartbreaking and confusing?
The best of the best option is to communicate. Yes. I should just call Ansh and tell him to come over. And then we can talk about everything and either sort it out or end it once and for all.
But, I hardly believe that we would talk in this kind of privacy and coziness. My whole aprtment remind me of our memories of the short time we spent there. We would probably end up having sex and putting off the ultimate conversation. Then what should I do?

As if god himself wanted to give me the answer of that question, my doorbell rang exactly at 6 in the evening. I was a mess. I hadn't bathed in days and my eyes are red from all the crying. If its Aaliyah or mom then I will have to endure a lecture. Oh god! Thats the last thing I want!
I walked to the door and peeked from the hole to find Preeti standing outside. Okay. That is wierd. Why would she come here all alone? We agreed to be friends but  still.
I opened the door cautiously. Preeti looked up and smiled. Her smile quickly faded when she noticed my face and my clothes and my hair.
"Hi! Are you okay?" She asked concerned.
I stepped away to let her in and close the door.
"Yeah I am good now. Just got rid of the cold. Its been a rough couple of days." I lied as I led her to sit on the couch.
"Are you sure? You look pretty bad."
"Don't worry. I'm fine and I took medicines. So its all good. Do you want some coffee?" I offered.
"No. I am actually in a hurry. So I'll get right to the point" she chuckled and I sat down across from her.
"What's up?"
"Its Siddhart's birthday tomorrow." Preeti started. "Yeah and I am arranging a surprise party. I invited all of our friends. I told Ansh to bring you when I went home earlier  today to meet him and Aarav. But Ansh said that I should come invite you personally and I didn't have your number so here I am."
Oh. Ohhhhh. So wait, she doesn't know about mine and Ansh's fight? I am pretty sure  that is the reason Ansh told her to invite me sepertaly.
"Oh. Okay."
"Yeah. You would come right?"
I don't know. I am not in a partying mood right now.
"Umm..."
Should I just say no?
"Look its okay if you can't come. You look pretty sick. But if you change your mind, give me a call. Here-" she said and picked up the pen and notepad on the table and started writing. "This is my number and address."
Preeti smiled. I know why she is doing this. She really wants us to be friends. And who am I to say no when she is offereing peace?
I made my decision quickly, and replied "I would come. Its so nice of you to invite me." I told her and smiled.
It would probably be a good thing to see Ansh tomorrow. There would be other people so we might be able to talk if we get a moment away from Aarav.
"I am glad. Okay I should get going I have 10 more people to invite." Preeti said and stood up. We walked up to the door and Preeti turned around to face me.
"Ansh didn't tell me you were sick. Wait, does he know?" Preeti asked.
"Yeah he knows." I just smiled. No need for explaining the things I don't even understand myself.
She smiled and said, "take care", before she was gone. I closed the door and huffed.
Well, tomorrow might just bring a surpise for all of us. And I am already nervous.

***
"I am so glad you could make it. You look amazing. Come on in." Preeti said as she released me from the hug, on her door step. I smiled and muttered, "you too", before I went inside to find the huge room full of balloons.
Seems a bit childish for a grown ass man, but who am I to judge?
I walked further in as I looked around and searched the place to find a familiar face. I am nervous as fuck. My stomach rumbled as I thought about Ansh and the inevitable.
"Ansh and Aarav haven't arrived yet with sid. But Aanya is back in the kitchen. Come on." Preeti came and led me to the kitchen as we smiled at the unknown faces and followed her in my 3 inch heels which are painful yet beautiful.

I greeted Anya who was working. Preeti left us alone after a few minutes of supervising Anya on the cake, to greet the guests.
It was not a good idea. I don't know if Ansh has told her or not. I am not ready to talk about it. I shouldn't have come. This is stupid.
"I can here you thinking." Anya said casually as her hands moved.
"What?"
"You are feeling out of the place right now and you wanna run in the opposite direction."
"Umm..."
Aanya looked up. "Ansh told me."
Well, she clarified that one. "Or I forced him to tell me."
"Forced him?" I raised one eyebrow.
"Well, he was roaming around like a sad puppy staring at his phone for a weeks non-stop. I figured somethings up and so I cornered him."
"Oh."
He's been waiting for my call. Now I feel bad. I wasn't even reading his texts. I was drowning in self pity and thinking about the ways to mend my heart.
"Look, he didn't go into much details. He just told me he messed up. So I suggested him to send you texts. I know girls can't ignore written shit." Anya laughed.
Well, she is right on that one. Girls can't ignore written shit.
"I know my brother. He is actually sorry. So my suggestion is that, you should stick and confront him. Not talking won't solve your issues, if you want to solve them, that is." Aanya said.
"Yeah. You're right." I agreed with her and tried to deflect the whole thing. I didn't want to talk more about Ansh and my relationship with Anya but I also didn't want to seems rude.
So I cleared my throat and decided to quench my thirst a.k.a curiosity. "So, Aarav is back. And I heard he is spending a lot of time at your place."
I said and leaned against the kitchen counter. Aanya mimicked my position and gave me a little micheivious smile and looked awfully smiliar to Ansh in that moment. Her eyes told me that she is about to make me a part of her secret.
"We are closer than ever before and I think there might be hope, finally." Anya admitted and smiled a genuine smile in almost weeks. I am happy for her.

One thing that I realised after Aarav's apology that day, was that he is not a bad guy. He is stupid, I agree but not bad. If he could love someone like Meera that much then I can't imagine how much he would love a sweet girl like Aanya if he lets his gaurds down. And after everything he had been through and after all these years of wait, Anya and Aarav deserve each other.
I just hope they could make it work. I hope the same for me and Ansh.

...