A GIRL LIKE YOU

33

Ansh pulled me in his arms and hugged me as a tear rolled down my cheek.
I almost killed someone because I wanted attention. God, that sounds so pathetic.
I was selfish. I was a liar. I was a disgrace. I still feel like I never really changed. I just got really good at pretending. Because I made a promise.

"After the family of that guy came, dad and I left. It was just midnight, I was locked in my room, crying for so many reasons when I heard the sirens of a police car. I knew that it was for me. I wasn't delusioned that I was going to get away with the whole thing. When I came downstairs I saw my dad trying to talk to the officer. Trying to make a settlement. But it didn't work out. Because the CCTV footage was available and it wouldn't have been his words against ours. The car's number plate was clear in the footage so the officers had to take an action. I was all ready to leave but dad did the ultimate sacrifice. I understood why he said keep quiet to me earlier, because he was going to surrender. He took it all on himself. I saw how much he loved me in that moment. He didn't let a stupid decision destroy my life. God, Ansh I felt so guilty. I felt like shit. I cried so hard. I shouted and thrashed to stop them from taking dad away. Mom assured me and held me down. That was the day I promised my mom that I'll be a good girl from now on."
I looked up at Ansh who had nothing but empathy in his eyes.
"I was a disappointment. That's what mom kept reminding me every single day until dad finally got out of Jail. It was awful for years after. We had to hear so much from people. All because of my stupidity. Things started going back to the way they were after a year, though. Aaliyah was by my side after that night. I got through it somehow. But I changed."
"You're still amazing Kiara." Ansh said kissing me on the forehead.
"I don't know. I only dated the guys my mom approved of. I often got dumped. My relationship record is awful. I didn't go out much. Found solace in books and fiction. I stayed back at home and did private college. I never brought my own place because my parents didn't want me to. I met with Aarav because that's what they wanted. It was so complicated to get rid of Aarav without a big enough reason. I agreed to get married to him all because, I had this hope for the past six years that I'll earn their trust back. That I'll make them love the person I've become. But it didn't happen, Ansh. They still don't trust me. They still blame me. I kind of blame myself too." I said and looked down.
I can't meet his eyes anymore. It was too much. Telling him all of this. The reason behind my insecurities. The reason behind my disaster love life. The reason behind all of this.
Ansh put his index finger under my chin and lifted my face. He leaned down and kissed my forehead, then both of my eyes, then my cheeks and my lips.
He looked at me and said, "Its all in the past baby. Its all good now. When Aarav comes back, I'll make him confess to your parents. They'll forgive you. I promise.
And I know it would be selfish to say this, but I'm glad all of this happened. Because it all led you to me. You are an amazing woman Kiara. Don't let your past shadow that quirky personality and that beautiful smile."
I smiled at his words. "There you go!" He said and hugged me again as I hugged him back.
Has anyone ever been this understanding towards me? Has anyone ever undertood my guilt? Ever tried to help me solve my issues instead of distracting me from them for a little while? Has anyone ever made me feel the way Ansh do?
He make me feel beautiful. Which I've never felt before.

***

That night after my long confession, Ansh and I just laid down in the bed and talked for hours. Recollecting the good moments, the bad moments and the awful moments of our past. Ansh mostly tried to made me laugh as we had dinner and then we slept together.

The next morning I called Aaliyah and told her about the development in mine and Ansh's relationship. So basically she was squealing one moment and then the next she was lecturing me. All in all, we ended the call after she made me promise to come back home soon. Which I still don't know how I'm going to do after the last call I had wity my dad.
I tried hard not to think about it and just tried to be in the moment with Ansh. Because no matter how many times I told myself the fear that, this amazing relationship that I've made with him have an expiry date, didn't go away. So I tried to enjoy the feeling of falling and being in love as much as I can.

The weather cleared out by the time everning rolled down. Ansh was busy today with work so I mostly spent my time reading. Just being in his presence was enough to make me feel giddy for more. So when he suggested we have dinner out, I jumped on the opportunity. Its been too long since I've stepped outside this place.

We were sitting in the corner booth of the burger place Ansh bought me. And we are sitting on the same side, touching one or the other part of each other. That's a good thing about the beggining of a relationship. You can't keep your hands off each other.

"He is still staring at you!" Ansh said for the fifth time in almost half an hour we've been here. The waiter that served us has been eyeing me for all of that half an hour and Ansh's rection are only making me laugh. I didn't know he was the jealous type.
"Why are you being jealous? I'm here right, beside you. You're touching me not him. Let him look if thats what he wants." Ansh stared at me.
"You have no problem that he is looking at you like that."
"Okay first of all, not trying to sound too cocky but it happens a lot with me. Secondly, why are you being so caveman about it?"
I like the way he is being all possesive and protective. But if he says something like 'lets get out of this place' or 'you shouldn't have wore a top showing a cleavage' or something along the line, my inner feminist would definitly whip him.
"Because he is not looking at you like you're beautiful. He is looking at you like you are some meat that he wants to eat."
Ansh rolled his eyes.
"You also look at me like that." I told him.
"Only in the night, Kiara. Only in the night." He said and I chuckled.
"Okay here's the thing. Before he comes here and do something stupid like look down my top again and you hit him and create a spectacle, I would like to go talk to him."
"What? Why?"
"Because I want to?"
"Do you do that a lot?"
"No! I'm only even considering it because I like messing with you." I winked at him and before he would stop me, I was out the booth.
It has been too fucking long since I have made some trouble. Too long. And feels good to be confident again. It feels good to know that someone is here to protect me if shit hits the fan.
For the first time in forever, it felt good to know that I won't be blamed for being myself and living my life a little.

...