A GIRL LIKE YOU

62

The fight broke out after that. Sid pulled Ansh away from Aarav, which was hard. I didn't do anything because I was feeling guilty as hell. I hurt so many people. Preeti rushed to Aarav and tried to help him up.
A few people came running from the party and took the scene in.
Ansh's rumpled clothes, the bruise on his jaw and deathly anger in his eyes with Aarav's blood made them kick to action.
"Take him inside. He is bleeding too much." Preeti said as a bunch of guys took Aarav out. Sid released Ansh and walked out as well.
Anya looked at me with a blank expression. Does she hate me now? She looked at her brother with disappointment. Of course she is sympathetic towards Aarav and then she took off as well.
I was still pinned against the wall when Ansh turned around and faced me. He had apology in his eyes. Not for what he did but instead for what Aarav said to me.
Well, he is most certainly the first guy in my entire life, who just saw how women take the blow of everything. How they are blamed and put into the place where everyone judges their character if they so much as even say a word they want. You can't do anything you want girl, because this world is double standard and they will call you a slut.
He walked towards me and hugged me and I sagged against his body, a million things running in my head. How would I face everyone else, after they find out about Ansh? Am I that strong enough to take blow after blow? Will Ansh be always there to fight for me?
"I am sorry." He said and minutes after that, we were on our way to home. Ansh drove the car holding my hand and looking at me as if I will start crying any moment. Yes I was dying of guilt because I didn't want Aarav and Ansh to fight for me. But more than that I was angry. Not on Aarav, but the whole society in general.
I stared out the windows feeling the cool breeze as I let myself think.
Why? Why do women take the fall? Why the world is so cruel to us? Why do we get judged so harshly for small things? Why is it so wrong to feel what I want to feel, do what I want to do, wear what I want to wear?
Most importantly why don't we try to  change it? Why do we just shut up and become a victim and accept the fact that this is how the world is? Why can't it change? Why can't we create a new generation who does not have such double standards? Who does not judge us girls for the choices we make? Whom would just see us as human beings and not put such a big burden of being perfect on our shoulders?
I am not perfect because I have a boyfriend. I am not perfect because I've had a few failed relationships. I am not perfect if my complexion is not fair enough and I am not perfect if I don't like to do what every girl should do according to you. I am not perfect for talking back and standing up for myself and I am not perfect because I am not a robot who takes orders from you. I am not perfect because I enjoy alcohol and I am not perfect if I curse at someone who deserve it. I am not perfect if I am strong enough to be at the top of my career for my abilities and talent because according to you, obviously I slept my way through it, right society?
When am I perfect? When I am a doormat? Is this world such a sexist?
And one thing I don't understand is that, why not being perfect means I am a slut? Why can't it just mean that I am a human and I make mistakes and learn from them. Why can't it just mean that I have my flaws and that makes me unique and myself.
No one is perfect. Not men. Not women. Not me. Nothings black and white. Its all grey. And I just want to be able to live in a world who understand this small concept. I just want to be able to live in a world who doesn't put us into the categories of good girl and bad girl just for listening to the voice of our heart. For once in my life I want to be able to say that I am proud to be a girl like me.

But that's just wishful thinking, right? Because this world has changed a lot but haven't changed at all. Because nobody is ready to change, cause nobody is ready to start somewhere. Nobody is ready to start shaking off the stereotypes. Nobody is ready to just accept us the way we are, instead of accepting the norms of this freaking society and telling our little girls that this is the way it is. We should instead tell them to fight for whatever they feel is right. We should instead tell them to tell the world a big fuck-off and take on your dreams. Why don't we do that? Why don't we release our girls from the cells of that fucking prison where they are kept for the crime of being "A Girl Like You?"

***
"Talk to me." Ansh said again, as we lay on the bed just holding each other. We haven't talked about anything ever since we came back. I don't know what to say.
There's a lot of things we can talk about, the first being the dynamic of our relationship and the second being Aarava. But I just can't. Not right now.

"About what?" I asked him as I looked up at him, in the dim light of the room he looked incredibly beautiful even with that purple bruise on his jaw.
"Anything."
"I am sorry."
Ansh released me and sat up as he looked down at me. I sat up too.
"For what? None of this is your fault."
"For coming in between you and Aarav."
Ansh took my hand and squeezed it.
"You are kidding me right? You are not in between. He is just an asshole who said shit about you and I hit him for it which he deserved by the way."
"But.. you fought because of me. I never wanted that Ansh."
"I know you didn't. But it happened Kiara, its not your fault."
"You know Ansh, the only reason I didn't drop Aarav and ran to you all those months ago is because I didn't want to be in between you and him."
"What are you saying?"
"I am saying that the moment I realised that you were his best friend, I wanted to leave Aarav for you. But I couldn't do it. Not only because I thought you wouldn't betray your friend for me but also because I was afraid that if you betray him for me, you friendship will break. And friendship means so much to me Ansh. I never wanted to be the reason for breaking apart two friends."
"Kiara..."
"I've been in your life for 7 months or so. He's been in yours for more than 17 years. I'm sure you guys have been through so many things together and I wrecked it. Mom is right, I create mess wherever I go."
"Shut up Kiara. You do not create mess, you make my world beautiful and colourful." Ansh took my face in his hands and looked into my eyes.
"Friendship is different than relationship. I know friendship is great and sacred. But relationship makes you whole. And just because someone has been in my life more than you, doesn't make them more important than you."
"But..."
"Time does not define the worth of a relationship Kiara. I fell for you within days of being with you. I didn't fell so hard or felt that much love for any girl before you, not in such a short period of time."
"Not even Preeti?"
"Not even her. It wasn't love at first sight or some shit and I don't even know what exactly happened but when I first saw you, my heart whispered, "now this one is special." I love you Kiara and I don't wanna lose you. Aarav is stupid and impulsive. As soon as he gets to his senses and I'll talk to him. I'll tell him that I never betrayed him, that you never betrayed him."
"You're not giving up on him?"
"No. I am not. He can be an asshole and I'll make sure he won't be coming back into our lives until he apologises to you. And you're right, we've been with each for so long that I can't just let him get away, but you also need to know at the same time that if it comes to choosing Kiara, I'll always choose you in a heartbeat. Just as long as you do not give up on me. Its not a request, its an order."

Not giving up. Its such a small concept. But its everything that keeps a relationship entact. Two people not giving up on each other, is what love is made up of. I know its not easy to hold on some times, but some people are worth the fight and the suffering. Some people are worth it all.
I smiled as a huge weight lifted up off my shoulders. He'll chose me. He just chose me when he hit Aarav. He is all in and I'll try to never doubt his love again and I am not going to give up on that kind of love either.
"I don't take orders from you." I teased him.
"Uh-huh. Lets see." Ansh said and the next moment he has me pinned to the bed as he hovered above me.
"You are everything, Kiara." He whispered before he kissed me.

...