"I am scared to go to rehab now!" Stevie sniffled slightly annoyed with Christine for diminishing her hopes that rehab would save her and the baby.
"I just dont believe in it Steph!" Christine shrugged and then felt bad "I am worried for you but I am sure we can find a good rehab for you!" She exclaimed wanting to help Stevie and feeling bad now "I'm just very old school about things, I don't like it either, but its my feelings and thoughts!"
"I understand, I don't like the thought of being looked away either, but I am an addict and my baby needs me to be sober and clean, I cant abort it, I want it Chrissy!" Stevie stated firmly, resting her hand on her stomach protectively.
"Stevie, I just think you are being to hasty about this, love!" Christine exclaimed.
"You think I should abort the baby dont you?" Stevie snapped.
"In a way yes, because its easy!" Christine blurted out and watched Stevie's usual warm brown eyes darken to a very deep brown hue and she knew she said the wrong thing, she knew she was awful at wording things and she blamed it on spending too much time with her male bandmembers. Stevie was her only female friend now after all "Well its not easy, but oh fuck!" She sputtered watching as Stevie got madder "Its all coming out wrong Stevie, I don't mean any of it like that!" She frowned "I just think you are rushing your decision and I don't want to see you toss your life away for a child that...."
"That I may miscarry, that is what you are trying to say!" Stevie half yelled and watched as Christine looked away, sucking on her bottom lip.
"Please don't fight with me over this, I truly support you but am putting you and your health above a baby, have you even seen a doctor, you could just be late! I have had a shit-load of pregnancy scares!"
"Mine is confirmed by my doctor, its not the first time I have been pregnant, I think I know just because you have been too drunk all the time to know or care about all the babies you probably killed with whiskey and cocaine!" Stevie said angrily and watched as Christine's face filled with nothing but hurt and she felt bad.
"I don't deserve children that's why I had so many miscarriages, so many that I stopped drinking instantly for and I still lost them, that is why I think being clean and sober is a load of bullocks, I feel cursed because I chose rock and roll over domestic bliss and I don't want you to suffer the same!" Christine stammered, her voice cracking. She wanted to walk out because Stevie had hurt her but she knew Stevie was hurting too and the younger woman's mind would be reeling from the pregnancy too.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, just slap me, the withdrawals are making me into Satan, I am so sorry!" Stevie gulped and gently grabbed Christine's hands feeling bad for lashing out.
"Don't be sorry, I am careless, I just had unprotected sex with Mick, I don't recall it, but the soreness down there makes me know it, you were just an innocent angel, sucked into our demented world and I should have made sure you weren't led astray, I'm sorry Stephanie!" Christine sniffled and Stevie felt worse.
"Chris, I am lashing out because I am fucking scared! I don't want to stop, drinking, smoking and coking but I want this baby!" She exclaimed.
"I understand and I am sorry! I just feel so helpless, I want to help Steph!"
"You can, cover for me while I go to rehab, visit me, don't tell anyone!" Stevie pleaded, squeezing her hands, even though she really wanted Mick to know, in a way, she wished Christine would tell him, but the chance was low, even if they were best friends and now bed mates.
"Stevie, you need support, more than me, I'm not that stable myself love!" Christine frowned.
"You are the most stable of us all!" Stevie stated.
"Every statue falls!" Christine laughed.
"I am going to rehab, I want this baby Chris, please just keep my secret!" Stevie smiled sadly and Christine held back crying, feeling like it was the last time she would ever see her but she nodded because she knew Stevie's mind was made up.
