Falling for you

Chapter 27

Wonwoo couldn't even begin to decipher the words that spilled from the older's mouth.He continued to kneel on the ground,staring at his clenched hands.

It was all his fault.He couldn't help but blame himself because he knew it was his fault.He'd left her alone when she needed him most.When she was most vulnerable.When she was doubting herself most.And he went and left her alone in the dark when he was supposed to be there.To be her light.To brighten her world again with reassuring words.But he didn't.Instead,he snuffed out the light of her laugh,her eyes and her world.

He clenched his jaw.It was too late.He was too late and there was nothing he could do.Nothing but to regret his decision.

"What does it say?"he mumbled softly.The others' heads turned to him,pity lingering in their eyes for their friend and he hated it.He hated the pity that radiated from them.He couln't stand it.He didn't ask for pity.

"I said what did it say!"he yelled,standing up as he held Seungcheol's collar.The light from the hallway reflecting his dark and fiery orbs.Ones that were filled with love were replaced with hatred for himself.But not only that,disappointment shone all other emotions.

Seungcheol stared into his cold black orbs closely,recognizing the fire that burned within him.The fire and longing to be with his little sister that he'd driven away.

"It just says that she'll leave."Seungcheol answered softly,understanding the pain that he felt.The pain it felt to lose someone they cherished most.The pain he felt when his mother died.

"Where?"He choked,letting go of the older's collar,head dropping along with his hands.

"It didn't say.The letter just stated that she's leaving korea.But not where she'd go."

Wonwoo bit his lip and punched the wall.He didn't care about the shock that the punch sent up his arm.Nor did he care about his bleeding and probably bruising knuckles.

"Fuck."he mumbled,punching the wall again.

"Fuck!"he screamed,letting the tears flow as he threw weak punches at the wall,hair plastered to his forehead with the glistening pearls of sweat.

The members looked at him,wanting to comfort him.But what could they do?They couldn't do anything that would lift the pain and burden off his shoulders.

Joshua sighed and placed a hand on his shoulder,pulling him back slightly whilst gripping the younger's shoulders firmly.

"Wonwoo..."Joshua whispered softly.

"Stop.Stop hurting yourself.It's not going to bring Hyejin back."

Wonwoo stayed silent with his head down as he listened on.He was numb.Numb from the pain and the ache his heart was suffering.He couldn't process anything.Nothing at all.Nothing but the fact that she'd left.

"I admit that I can't lie to you and say that she'll come back.But do you want her to see you like this?"

"Why does it even matter?She was the one rooting me down to the ground.She motivated me to live every day to the fullest.She was the one that made me feel like there was something to look forward to."He croaked.

"I know-"

"Do you really know though?"Wonwoo spat,whipping his head towards Joshua.

"Do you really know how it feels to lose someone you love?Last time I checked,you were well connected with both your parents.Last time I checked,you were happy..All of you are!"he yelled,looking around as he shoved Joshua in the chest.

Joshua's kind eyes turned to one of slight anger,his patience was slowly depleting and they knew that.But he kept his composure nonetheless.

"I get that but you can't push away others who are trying to help you."Joshua said softly.

"You're right.I don't know what it feels to lose someone you love.To run through life on the false hope of them ever returning.But what I do know is that you don't need someone to be the reason you keep a smile on your face and I most certainly know that you shouldn't let this drag you down into the dark.You're stronger than this,Wonwoo."Joshua finished,giving Wonwoo a pat on the back before walking away to give him some space.

"He's right,Wonwoo."Jeonghan spoke softly before turning away as well,the others following suit,leaving only Seungcheol and Wonwoo.

Seungcheol had kept quiet the whole time and Wonwoo was scared to see her brother's reaction.

"Hyung..."Wonwoo started.

Seungcheol raised his head to meet Wonwoo's gaze only to return emotionless ones before walking away,letter clutched tightly in his fists as he walked away,slamming his room door shut.

Wonwoo bit his lip and walked down the stairs to the kitchen,taking out a bottle of soju,sitting down at the kitchen island as he poured the liquid into a shot glass before swallowing the bitter liquid that warmed his throat,hoping to drown his sorrows and indulge himself in a world where he could forget.

He licked his lips before slamming the glass on the counter,eyes slowly clouding with the feeling of liquor taking over him.He reached i to his pocket and reached for the box,pulling it out as he played with it in his hand,the soft velvet box turning around in his palms.

He took the bottle and poured himself another shot,staring at the white liquid that filled the glass.

"I'm sorry,Hyejin."he mumbled,taking another shot of the liquid,clenching his fists around the velvet ring case on the counter.

———

Hyejin bit her lip as she looked at her room.She couldn't shake off the feeling that this was her new home now.Her eyes drifted to the open bedroom,settling on the large white bed,shoulders shuddering as she let out a shaky breath.

The bed would feel empty and she knew that.She wouldn't have Wonwoo to hug or cuddle with at night till she fell asleep.She would be alone,far away from the people she called and cherished as family from across the world.

She gripped her luggage handle,and stepped further into the house,the wheels of the luggage rolling on the hard and polished wooden floor,leaving it at the opening of her bedroom before continuing her exploration bare footed,letting the coldness of the wooden floor engulf her feet.

She made her way to the window,wrapping her cardigan around her as she let out a heavy,troubled breath.

She understood fully that this was all her fault.It was her fault for giving up everything she had to ensure the safety of those around her.To stop troubling them with issues that they needn't know about.They shouldn't have to deal with it anyways.It was her fault and she was coming to terms with herself to accept it.To accept that she may never see them again.Not for another few years.

She smiled softly as she looked out the window,staring at the lit city from above.She placed a delicate hand on her stomach,wrapping them around herself as she felt the night breeze encasing her along with the vast darkness.

"What will I do without you?"she asked,rubbing unconscious circles on her stomach.

Letting her eyes fall down to the floor,she turned her back from the window.

"Goodbye,Seventeen."