IMAGINE THIS | bts ✓

break up - jungkook

don't you miss the feeling of him? the knowing and the reasoning memory he had left behind to you? all the thoughts and traces of his being there suddenly gone and away one day. don't you miss him?

i did.

i do.

seeing jungkook walk away as if we weren't something beautiful at one point affected me in the way almost every break up had. it was like any break up where no one loved each other anymore, the feelings dying until the point of the separation and then they're just gone.

except, it was the break up where one couldn't love the other enough to make them stay.

i don't know what i did wrong. all day and night i've tried loving jungkook to the fullest of my heart's capacity yet, all i've learned is love doesn't just come from the heart; it comes from your mind and actions.

knowing what to do or say even without a moment of hesitation; that's love. but, only if i tried a little harder, that's what they all say. so, maybe it was true in the eyes of others.

not everyone knows the whole story.

i was the one who didn't stay with him.

sure, there was love and purely puppy love in the beginning bud of our relationship. jungkook always made sure to remind me to wonder where it all went wrong. i think that's the memory that inflicts the pain the most. it almost seems as if he made me understand i was the reason why we couldn't last.

and i believed i was the problem no matter how many times he assured me i was not. somehow, jungkook thought he was the problem. he thought he wasn't good enough to me, not enough to give me the love i deserved and searched for. he was so wrong.

jungkook wasn't the one who wasn't good to me. i was the one constantly hurting him, the person always luring him in only to push him down in the end. as much as he thought he was in the wrong, he was the one i turned to for every problem, every struggle, every tear.

i guess that's when he decided he's had enough of the torture. the moment when he's had enough of me.

when he told me we should break up, it didn't bother me as much. i was sure i wasn't even the same person as before when he first talked to me. but now when he's not with me at night in our bed, i'm wishing his comfort. i'm needing his presence.

i'm needing him.