IMAGINE THIS | bts ✓

ending scene continuation - jungkook

it's been a year and a half. i searched for her everywhere. i quit sleeping. it doesn't help if you had used the time asleep instead of looking for your girlfriend. i quit eating. but losing her hurts less than seeing her with another man.

yet, my baby is gone and i don't know how i will ever get her back. i'm not even sure if she's still breathing at this point.

the police won't do anything. they won't investigate. they can't do that without evidence and i've got none. but that just isn't her. she wouldn't just go missing like that.

shit, just thinking about her brings me to tears.

i was going to marry her one day, make her mine, never let her be unhappy. but we were still young, there was no rush. i can't even believe she's really gone now. i want to hold and have her in my arms one more time. but it's no use. even if there was a chance i'd see her again, she would hate me for not finding her sooner.

but i tried so fucking hard and that didn't fix my broken heart at all.

—————

"baby, i'm home." he says as he locks the door and hand his keys on the wall. i slightly smile as i rocked the baby in my arms. my baby in my arms. yoongi grins.

"you're home early." i say still rocking her. yoongi sits down beside me and motions for me to let him hold my daughter. our daughter.

one year ago was a misunderstanding. i wasn't raped. i guess it was just used for blackmail. yoongi loves me and he wanted me. i bet me still staying with him and starting a family wasn't a smart choice, but i got over it.

i waited for five months and he never came. jungkook didn't care anymore. so i agreed to let myself fall in love with the man who did. yoongi has never done anything to hurt me.

but it hurts that jungkook still wanders around in my mind.

leaving jungkook behind in busan was a bold decision. yoongi said we should move to los angeles so our baby could grow up knowing korean and english. so far los angeles has been treating us well.

i think i'm in love with yoongi now. the first couple of months were rough but i got used to him. yoongi was really kind to me and still is.

is it bad that i sometimes forget about jungkook and the fact that i left him just because he didn't try hard enough to find me?

i'm sorry, jungkook. but i will always love you.

—————

i can't do this shit anymore. it hurts. physical fucking pain. i don't think i could ever move on.

everyone tells me i should just move on and find another girl, but she wasn't just any other girl out there. she was special and she was mine. she was what kept me alive.

i don't think anyone really sees what i go through when i pass by her parents' old house where they used to live and think about all the memories we've made there together.

her parents love me because i suffered as much as they did. they understood my pain, but i don't think my pain is as worse as theirs. she was an only child.

i don't necessarily want to die. i just don't want to be here anymore, without her. if she isn't in my life, i can't continue on.

no matter what, i will still love her. she deserves that much.

i want to take the time to say goodbye to her and my family and friends. i don't want to leave them, but maybe then would i only stop suffering.

only then would i be able to breathe knowing she'll be alright without me.

goodbye.

"jungkook?" it sounds almost as if she's speaking to me. i step closer to the edge of the cliff.

"jungkook, what the fuck are you doing?"

a warm hand grabs my arm and i am turned around in an instant. she stares at me in an angry and upset state.

she slaps me.

"h-hwayoung..." the quiet girl i recognized from school long ago was standing in front of me.

"if you kill yourself, i won't have the chance to love you anymore." she spoke and i start tearing up naturally. i really didn't want to die, but the suffering  pain was unexplainable.

"what do you mean?" i was baffled.

"i love you... and if you were gone, i wouldn't have the chance of ever being happy again." she cries and tears fall.

"but y/n... she—"

"don't kill yourself." she pleads with silver-sweet eyes. "for my sake."

don't kill yourself, jungkook, i say to myself over and over.