topic: rivals that are in love

381 4 0
                                    

20 August, 2014

It started as any other hatred, only I didn't dislike her as much as she hated me. She was stubborn like that, leaving everything to fall under her footsteps so she can stand superior and above it all.

I guess it was only a matter of time before I started looking past my temper and her attitude because it was the pathway leading me to understand that she and I don't differ from each other as much as we thought.

Today, she let it slip that her grandmother suffers from dementia when I made a joke about it. I felt really guilty the rest of the day. I should have apologized but instead I laughed. I was sure she was joking, but when the tears brimmed in the edges of her soft and round eyes, I froze and didn't know what else to do.

I didn't know what else to say. So, like an idiot, I turned and walked away. I didn't see her the rest of the day and usually we run into each other. I was right. She was avoiding me because I was a jerk and I laughed at her when I should have just maned and apologize.

I am so sorry I end up doing and saying stupid things.

• • •

31 August 2014

The more she started to realize that we aren't different, too, I panicked and backed off, leaving her cold stares and silent words. If she were to ever watch carefully and pick out why I do the things I do, why I say the things I say, she would surely understand that and know how foolish I am of a man.

The usual taunting, the same old name-calling. Soon enough, we were all we saw of the human population here. It seemed as if we were always by each other's sides, always talking to each other, always the outcast. It seemed as if we were always alone, but together.

I heard her grandmother had passed away in an accident an it reminded me of what I had said the other day. I hate myself so much that it absolutely kills me to know she hates me just as much.

I think she tried to talk to me today but I kept avoiding her gaze. I was just afraid to ruin things even more for us since I still haven't apologized for last time. Why did I even have to say that?

Anyways, I guess school was okay today because I saw her smile a lot. It was when she was with the new student at our school but it doesn't matter because as long as I know she's happy, I don't care who she hangs out with. Though, I really wish it was us together, laughing, joking, and picking on each other.

So, my birthday is tomorrow. Hopefully, she congratulates me on turning seventeen. If only I could act like I was seventeen.

I am so sorry I end up doing and saying stupid things.

• • •

01 September 2014

You could say I smile way more often when her presence is near mine. We just have this connection and it just fills me up with content. I wish I am able to sense the reality in this though. It's clear she laughs with me but you can see all the affection and warmth in her eyes when that new kid is with her.

Even when not smiling or enjoying each other's company, the two still go crazy over each other. I didn't like it one bit. It's not that I already claimed her or that she's already standing in my possession. Who even claims human beings?

I guess I am just upset that maybe she's found a replacement for me. I know we weren't best friends or even friends at all, but I know she enjoyed those times with me as much as I enjoyed the memories with her.

She didn't wish me a happy birthday today. I didn't expect her to care but I didn't expect her to not utter out a single word anyways. In fact, I don't even know why I'm not out celebrating with my hyungs instead.

IMAGINE THIS | bts ✓Where stories live. Discover now