Little Miss Secret

Negative

2 weeks later...

I sat on the couch with my knees against my chest. I had a day off of work so my mom and Ivy had come over to visit. Chase was at school or he'd be here too. Ivy bounced little 2 month old Matthew you on her lap.

"I can't believe it's been two months." I said whilst gawking at my little nephew. 

"I know." Ivy whispered soaking it all in, "It's crazy..."

The oven went off in my kitchen and Ivy handed Matthew you over too me. I cradled him in my arms and kissed his head.

"So, how's this whole living situation going." My mother asked me. It'd been nearly 6 months since I moved in with Seth. 

"Okay, I guess. It's not the easiest thing in the world, but it works. Seth and I  are on good terms most of the time. So, I really don't mind living with him. I'm just trying to be the best mom I can be." 

My mother shook her head and placed a hand on my lap.

"You are a good mother my Violet."

I smiled at her. Harper came out of her room with a pony in her hand. My mom picked her up and into her lap. 

"Did you know it's almost your birthday Rosie Posie?" I asked her.

"Uh-huh! I'm gonna be dis many!" She put up 4 fingers. I giggled and pushed one down. 

"You are going to be three silly! Don't grow up on me too fast!"

"Ohhhhh! Free!" She held the three finger in my face. Ivy came back in with a plate of chocolate chip cookies and sat them on the coffee table. Harper grabbed one off the plate and shoved it in her mouth.

"Harper! You ask mommy if you can have one next time, okay?" 

Harper grinned with chocolate coming out the corners of her mouth. 

"Sorry mommy!" She giggled. 

For the next hour we talked about a lot of things. It was nice to catch up with my family. 

Matthew began to wail.

"I better get going. It's nap time." Ivy stood up and grabbed her things. 

"Me too. Chase will be home soon." I nodded at them and gave them hugs and kisses. Harper came out and said her goodbyes too.

After my family left I turned on a crime tv show. Harper kept running in and out of the living room with new toys every time. It amazes me the mess a toddler can make in the matter of minutes. 

Another hour passed and I suddenly felt very sick. I laid back on the couch and sipped some water, but nothing could get rid of this nauseous feeling. 

Did eat something bad? Or is this just the stomach flu? 

I sat straight up when the realization hit me. This could most definitely be more than just the stomach flu. My mind flew back to two weeks ago. Did either of them use protection? I'm not on birth control. Did they think I was on birth control? 

I started to have major panic attack. I was shaking and couldn't breathe. 

"You otay mama?" Harper asked me. 

I calmed myself a bit. "Ya baby mama's okay." 

"Do you want some lunch?" 

Harper shook her head yes. I quickly made her a PB&J and gave her chips and milk. I sat her down at the coffee table.

"Mama's gonna go to the bathroom real quick. You be good." She shook her head mesmirized by the TV.

I locked the bathroom door and swung open the cabinet. There were a few left over pregnancy tests in a box. I took one out and followed all the instructions. I set a timer for three minutes on my phone and paced back and forth. 

If I am pregnant who is the father? Who do I want the father to be? Do I even tell them? What if I just take Harper and run off? No, I can't do that. Can I even afford this? Do we have enough room? 

The timer beeped. My shaky hands took hold of the test. I imagined the next time I took a text would be an exciting time. With my boyfriend, or husband standing next to me, but yet here I am again...alone. 

I quickly flipped the test over and took a sigh of relief. 

Negative. Thank God. 

I threw the test in the trash, making sure it was upside down. I went back out to the living room and sat next to Harper. She crawled onto my lap. Dora played on the screen of the TV. I rested my chin on top of her head. 

"I love you, baby." I kissed her head. 

"I wuv you too mama." 

Everything was worth it in this moment. Every pain, every heartache, every single thing was worth it. Because I got to have the most beautiful little girl as my daughter. 

And as long as she was safe, healthy, and happy, so was I.