The Bridge To Success

As much as he wanted to

The dawning sun peeped past the closed curtains. Little by little, floating dust turned visible through the gradient of sunlight columns that entered the room. Morning birds sang in the distance, nature's music played, same with Brett's quiet snore.

Eddy smiled to himself. Did he just associate snoring with music? Love was truly blind, deaf rather.

He laid on his side, rested his head on one arm under his pillow. Eddy absorbed all sights of Brett. The beauty and grace of his lover's sleeping face that's exclusive only to him.

The face he'd always wanted to wake up to.

He reached out his free hand to touch Brett's peaceful features. Eddy lightly ran a finger to his lover's cheek, to his jaw, smooth, but had some stubbles. 'He needs to shave.'

His eyes then followed his hand, Eddy traced the untanned skin where Brett's glasses rested. The finger then moved down along the curve of his lover's ears, rubbed lightly the soft lobes. Eddy had the urge to nibble the soft flesh but decided not to, not to wake Brett up.

Eddy moved closer, still on his side, he wrapped his arms around the sleeping man. The warmth under his touch relaxed him. Eddy rested his head on the space left on the other's pillow. He kissed his hair. Inhaled his scent. He felt the man moved, Eddy hugged him tighter. "I love you, Brett," he whispered.

"Mmm... I love you too," Brett's voice dripping with sleepiness answered. With eyes closed, he turned to his side facing his lover and wrapped his arm around Eddy's waist. "Go back to sleep, " he mumbled.

Smiling, Eddy kissed Brett's nose.

They both went back to sleep.

---

Today. Morning.

Eddy wanted to look at Brett in the eyes as much as he wanted to.

As much as he wanted to...

-

Eddy was awake but he didn't want to get up. Spread wide across his bed, he stared up on the ceiling. He heard the muffled calls of his mom outside his room. Eddy ignored it.

He didn't want to move. His appointment today, he didn't want to attend. Lazily, he turned to his side, curled into a fetal position. He hugged himself. Hoped that after he fell asleep like this, everything would come back to normal.

'I wish the bed would just swallow me up...,' he sighed. Eddy stayed completely still, his breathing even. He took a deep breath, inviting sleep to visit him once more. Moments later, he was starting to doze off, his eyelids slid shut.

"Eddy..."

His eyes forced open, startled by the voice that suddenly called him. Groaning, Eddy sat on the bed cross-legged. Hands playing with the string of his drawstring shorts. His head hung low. Eyes down, not to the person by the door.

Through the half-open of the door, Chen-mama glanced at her son. "Breakfast is ready," her words cautious, worried. Gripped hard to the door handle, she waited for him to answer.

Seen that his mother stayed not until he responded, Eddy, sighed, "I'll..." He looked up to his mom then back to his feet, "just let me wash up first."

Chen-mama let out a relieved sigh. "Okay, be quick," she closed the door gently behind her.

Eddy stayed like that, not moving nor speaking. The weight of the decision he's about to bestow settled in, the urge of something from within in wanting to burst out. He let out a large exhale.

He decided to force himself to move to get the day going.

-

The sun hid behind the clouds when Eddy and his mom arrived at their destination. The place as just a twenty-minute drive from their residence. They decided to went there early for that had to be the first to be attended to.

Hesitating, he opened the door to the office. There, the mess, still the uncoordinated mess greeted him. The flowers, cloth, papers, and plastics of various trinkets and things related to specific occasions. Also the lady in-charge, a misplaced of an elegant lady amidst the chaos.

"Hello," the woman welcomed them with a smile, "how may I help you today?" She then ushered the two to seat down to the chairs around the table. The all so familiar table to Eddy.

Chen-mama sat down, breathed a small 'Thank you' to the lady, Eddy followed suit.

"You want some coffee or tea?" The lady asked.

She waved her hand 'no,' "No need, no need, " Chen-mama said, "we won't be long." She held her son's hand that rested on his lap.

Eddy was startled by the gesture, he didn't realize that his hand was turning white at the knuckles until he felt a hand on top of it. He loosened his tense muscles and turned to his mom. With eyebrows pulled together, he mouthed a 'Mom...' to her.

She gave him a small nod and faced the lady.

His lips started to shake. 'This is it,' he thought. Eddy's hand tightened again, digging crescent moons to his skin. He had to speak, so he gulped down, hoping it might help. It didn't for the back of his eyes started to sting.

"Miss organizer, " he started. With trembling lips and tears threatening to fall, he continued, "we," he bit his lip hard then released, he forced the words out of his mouth,

"we'll cancel the wedding."