Chapter 23

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by corcoooo

by corcoooo

Jeffrey's POV

It hurt like hell. My heart literally ached and I felt like suffocating, but I tried to keep myself together and convince myself that it was the right thing to do. I loved her so much, therefore I wanted to give her space to see and feel if things were better without me. I didn't want to be the one who affected her happiness in the worst way, I wanted to be part of her happiness. That's why I did what I did.

Never had I sat and stared at nothing for so long like I did when I got home. I wondered if she understood my decision and if not, I hoped with all I had that she would understand it soon, because it was for her best. My head was spinning and I wished I could hold her in that moment, because she was probably much more heartbroken than me...if that was even possible.

Maybe after some time she would come back and slap me and tell me how stupid I was, how much of an idiot I was for deciding that. Maybe she wouldn't come back at all, realizing she could indeed be happier without me. Maybe she'd find someone else, someone younger. Maybe, just maybe she'd forget about me and be happy. But for now, I knew she loved me and I knew I broke her heart. For now, I wanted to give her the space she needed.

On Monday I realized that I would see her at work and I was so fucking stupid. How the fuck was I supposed to give her space when we'd see each other at work every single day? So in the car I kept talking to myself, saying that I should keep away from her, so she didn't have to see me. Fuck, I felt stupid.

I got there and I saw her directly, and even if my brain kept telling me to look away, I kept looking at her. She was beautiful and my heart was pounding in my chest and I loved her. I loved her so much and...fuck. Get your shit together, Jeffrey.

She was hugging Freddie and had this big box next to her and that's when I realized she wasn't going to work there anymore. I realized that and somehow I felt like sinking, though I knew it would be better for her to stop being close to me. Or maybe her decision depended on something else. She didn't look miserable like I did which was a good thing. Move on, love of my life.

''Hey, man'' I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned around to see Norman. ''Are you alright?'' there was concern on his face. I appreciated my friend so much, he was always there for me.

''I'm not, but I will be. Eventually. Hopefully'' I sighed as I kept looking at her. She talked to Freddie with a sweet, charming smile on her face and I wanted to hold her. ''Fuck'' I whispered.

''She's leaving, huh?'' Norman asked and I nodded. ''It was expected, Jeff, you know that. She can't be here every day''.

''I know and I feel so bad that she has to leave this job because of me. If it is because of me''.

''Maybe she's found another one, as a video editor. She kept saying that it's what she really wanted to do, so maybe she just got a good one somewhere else'' Norman always tried to make me feel better about anything.

''I hope she's gonna be a video editor, she deserves it'' I placed my hands in my pockets and looked down at my feet, trying hard to stop looking at her.

''You still think you did the right thing?'' Norman asked.

''I don't fucking know anymore, bubba. I want to think I did the right thing, look at her. She is alright right now'' I felt so empty.

''I hate to say this, Jeff, but that could be just a façade. She is smiling but you never know what's inside. I do hope she's alright though'' my best friend smiled at me. He cared about her too, we'd all hang out sometimes. She got alone with everyone and everyone liked her.

''Do you think I did the right thing?''.

''Don't know, man. I think you should have waited a bit longer to see if it would get better, but at the same time you never know if it'd get better. I don't know what to tell you, man''.

''I love her so much'' I was like a broken record.

''I know you do. Come on, let's get to work, it'll keep you busy'' I followed after Norman and hoped Mia didn't see me.

I was laying on my couch, my dogs and a blanket over my body, keeping me warm. Everything smelled like Mia, everything reminded me of her. She never called or texted after Friday and it was understandable; she was probably so angry at me that she wanted nothing to do with me. Although I knew she was never going to talk to me ever again, I kept checking my phone all the time. What a stupid man, holy crap.

I felt like I was being stabbed in my heart million times, yet I felt relief that she wouldn't have to worry about people following her and telling her untrue things. Mia Hall was a strong woman, she would realize that what I did was for her. She may never forgive me; not now, not ever, but at least I hoped she knew it was all for her.

I did the best thing for her. I did the best thing for her. I did the best thing for her.