Back to You | Jeffrey Dean Morgan

Chapter 26

Mia's POV

I got drunk last night. I got drunk and texted Jeffrey and only realized in the morning that I truly did that. What was there to do? I couldn't unsend it. I couldn't do anything about it yet I couldn't stop thinking about it. I was so mad at myself, felt horrible. He never answered and it felt like pure and total shit. Why the fuck would he answer anyway? He had no reason to reply to his ex girlfriend who he broke up with.

Freddie: You alright today, hun?, my friend texted me.

No, not really alright. I have the worst hangover and I feel horrible for texting Jeffrey. I want the ground to swallow me whole. I answered. I literally wanted the ground to swallow me so I could disappear out of this world and forget about everyone and everything. 

Freddie: Listen, honey. It was your heart who did that. You were drunk and still so fucking in love and you did it and there's literally nothing you can do about it.

He was right. My brain didn't agree with my stupid action, but my heart loved it. Now Jeffrey knew that I still thought about him, loved him, had him on my mind. And he didn't care.

I wiped away the tear that had fallen down my cheek and got up to get water and something for my headache. It was Sunday and I didn't know what to do, but I wanted to do something to keep me occupied and distracted. I opened the chat with Jeffrey and looked at our messages; to hell with keeping myself distracted. I typed ''I miss you'' and deleted it so many times I thought I'd go insane. I would never, ever send one more message to him. Ever. 

I wasn't over him. I didn't think I was ever going to get over him and move on with my life, because he had such a beautiful impact on me. He loved me and made me feel beautiful, cared about me, made love to me like no one else. No idea how my life was going to look like in a few years when all I had in my mind was Jeffrey, Jeffrey, Jeffrey. 

My phone lit up again and I was sure it was either Freddie or Tony, so I drank my glass of water before checking. I hoped with all I had that they wanted to hang out or come over, so that I could do something to keep my mind off of him, the man who stole and broke my heart. 

When I unlocked my phone to check my texts, I froze. I froze and my heart skipped one, two, three beats and I thought I was hallucinating, and my stomach filled with butterflies and my eyes with tears.  

''Nah. No. Nope'' I shook my head as I looked at the screen. Then, out of nowhere, I started crying. I cried so much, tears staining my cheeks, falling down onto my clothes. 

Jeffrey: I can relate to that. 

He texted. He fucking texted me. My brain went into overthinking mode; was he drunk? No, it was 10 in the morning. Did he mean to send it to someone else and accidentally sent it to me instead? Did he really mean that? Why would he text me back? It was him who broke up with me. I thought he was over me, I thought he didn't care one bit about me anymore. 

Jeffrey: I can relate to that because everything reminds me of you. He texted again not even two seconds later. 

At this point I thought that my hangover self was just hallucinating, that my mind was playing with me. There was no way in hell he would text back and say that. I locked my phone, put it back on the sofa and went to drink one more glass of water. Maybe that would help me wake up because this was just a dream. 

Checking my phone again, the texts were still there. That's when I realized that he thought about me. He still thought about me. He wasn't over me. I hoped to god that he wasn't over me because I wanted him to miss me and need me the way I did. ''Everything reminds me of you''. Fuck. I wanted to write back or to call. Fuck, I missed his voice so much, so insanely much. His raspy, low, velvety voice was my favorite sound in the world and I missed it more than anything. I needed to hear him tell me I love you, to call me kitten, to whisper sweet nothings into my ear. I needed him to fucking call me, to tell me he wanted me back, to let me know that his texts were legit. Fuck, I was going insane, wasn't I? 

I didn't text back immediately. I didn't text back at all because I didn't know what to tell him. What was I supposed to tell him when I felt so confused, hopeful, broken? That I loved him? That I wanted him back? That I couldn't imagine life without him? I looked at the texts for so long and I cried. I cried so much that I fell asleep and woke up in the evening. Or better said, my phone woke me up because it kept ringing. Everything was confusing, why the hell was Norman Reedus calling me? 

''Hello?'' I said, voice sleepy. I felt so tired and had no idea how I could sleep from 10 in the morning to 8 in the evening. What the fuck was wrong with me? 

''Mia, I'm calling from The Mount Sinai Hospital. Can you please com here? It's Jeffrey''.