Chapter 25

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by corcoooo

by corcoooo

Jeffrey's POV

It was Saturday night and while Norman and a few others were at his place I didn't feel like going there, even though I was invited. I didn't feel like doing anything and it ate me alive. I couldn't concentrate on anything, everything was boring and I felt so fucking sad. Finding absolutely nothing to do, I decided to go for a drive in the city.

After one hour of only driving and driving, I parked my car in front of a cafe and went inside. It was around 8 pm but I was craving a good coffee; it wasn't like I was going to sleep that night anyway, I was as awake as I could be, thoughts taking over me. I sat in front of the window and looked at the cars passing by, wondering why people were so angry in traffic. I looked at the millions of city lights and admired the beauty of New York City. I looked at the people walking in front of the cafe and wondered where the old man with a flower bouquet in his hand was heading. I smiled at the little kid on his dad's shoulders that pointed at me while he passed by and admired a Husky dog.

But after that, fuck, after that I looked to the other side of the street and saw her, Mia. I thought that maybe I was dreaming, that maybe it was just my mind playing tricks with me, letting me see what I wished I could see. I blinked once, twice, looked at my coffee and then up again and she was still there, holding hands with her friends, smiling. God, she was smiling and laughing and she looked so happy and that's when I fucking knew that she was better off without me.

I loved her and I wanted her to be happy, but fuck, did it hurt. It hurt to see her happy without me, as horrible as that sounded. She deserved to be happy, she deserved all the joy in the world but I wished with all I had that I could be part of that. My heart kept telling me to go out, stop her and talk to her but my legs were stuck and I couldn't move. What was the point in doing that to her? Coming back into her life like that, after she had finally moved on...Fuck, I was miserable.

She disappeared out of sight and only then did I realize I had been holding in my breath for so long and squeezing the mug with my hands so hard I thought it was going to break. There was nothing more I wanted than to kiss her soft, petal lips and feel her smell of flowers and vanilla. I wondered if there was going to be another man in her life to adore her scent as much as I did. I wondered if there was going to be someone to love her as much as I did. I wondered if she thought of me from time to time.

I broke her. I broke myself too and only now did I regret it. It was too late to regret it. Way too late.

My phone rang, disturbing my thoughts, which I actually didn't mind; I needed distraction. I looked down at the screen to see Norman's name on it. ''Hey, bubba'' I answered.

''Hey, man. Are you coming tonight?'' he asked. There were voices and laughter in the background and I thought better of it; maybe if I joined them I'd get distracted.

''Yeah. Yeah, I'll be there in 30 minutes'' I said before hanging up and going back to drinking my coffee.

''Heeey, Jeff'' Norman hugged me when I got to his place. ''Glad you came, man''.

''Glad I came too'' I said as I closed the door behind me. I went to the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge, Norman following behind.

''Where have you been all day? You missed the barbecue. I mean, there's a lot of food left, but it's so much better in the moment, when it's warm'' my best mate asked.

''Just...in the city'' I answered. I didn't want to bother him with my thoughts even more than I felt I did. He never complained though, always listened to me.

''Jeff, you're not alright, are you?'' he looked me in the eyes, a serious expressions on his face.

''I saw her, man. I saw her just one hour ago'' I felt like I couldn't breathe, images of her beautiful smile from earlier playing in my head over and over again.

''Why are you doing this to yourself?''.

''I deserve it, don't I? I was stupid to let her go. And she didn't even want me to let her go. Ah, fucking hell, I'm sorry. I didn't come here to get you all in a shitty mood''.

''It's fine, I'm here always, you know that. Things are going to be fine, I promise. It'll get better, it'll be alright'' Norman said and right then my phone vibrated. I took it out of my pocket, looked at the screen and almost dropped it to the floor. ''Jeff? You alright?''.

Mia: evvery song remjinds me of you

I just stared at my screen. I stood there and stared at it and Norman did too and I didn't know what to do. Anger, fury, hope were building up in me and I punched the kitchen counter. She couldn't do that, she simply couldn't. She was drunk, I knew it, it was obvious.

''A drunk mind speaks a sober heart'' Norman said.

It was a lie, Mia didn't mean to send it. She would regret it in the morning, I fucking knew she would.

So I never answered.