A guilty pleasure with you // WillNE x Reader

Chapter 26 - Broken, The reason behind it all - PT 1

Slight Trigger warning for this chapter x 

Will just sat there tears silently falling from his face as he watched me read the message from George. "Will... what secret? what on earth is George on about." I say taking his limp hand his facial expression not changing "I-I I can't tell you... you'll hate me- but if you find out through George first- FUCK." Will shoves my hand away grabbing his head throwing his hat off to the side. 

I couldn't let Will know I was panicking, I couldn't. I need to stay calm, Breath in, Breath out. "Will I'd rather hear it from you." 

"Promise me you won't hate me." 

"That's an unfair promise to make Will."

Will sighs shakily watching the people around the room in the cafe "Do you remember Cameron?"

My heart sank, the second Will mentioned his name. Cameron was a guy I met online a few years ago, He was the first person I had ever loved, I told him everything even things I hadn't even told my own family. He was always there to assure me that things would be okay, that I would get better. He promised me the world, said he loved me too. Then one day he just changed, disappeared, left me like everyone else. I was broken, I lived in fear and pain for months, and months on end. I couldn't believe that he was gone, that he would leave me, that everything he said was a lie. and so I had my first anxiety attack every night for those months every. single. night

I was torturing myself with the thoughts in my head thinking about every worst scenario possible until I had the first episode I didn't eat, didn't drink, didn't talk. I just gave up caring for myself until one day my roommate at the time found me in my bed on the brink of death. They took me to the hospital and that's where I was diagnosed with the worst case of Anxiety the Doctors had ever seen in their lives. All because of Cameron, He broke me. I spent months in the hospital trying to get better as they refused to let me leave until I started to eat again, as my body was frail and about to give in.

"Yeah... How could I forget him." I say swallowing hard all these old feelings of pain and torture returning. 

"Before you say anything, you have to let me finish everything I'm about to say. Ok?"

I hesitated, but I trust Will. So I nodded slowly agreeing. 

"A few years ago, George and I were sat thinking of Video ideas. And we came across the concept idea of Pretending to be "the perfect guy" for 24hrs online we didn't think any harm could come from it, it was just a silly video idea. So we created the account, messaged a few people, but nothing really came of the conversations we were having with people... So George decided we should just abandon the video idea and so we did" ...

I felt my heart in my throat, I want to throw up If Will says what I think he's about to say.

"But... That night I was sat in bed, and a twitter notification from the account came up on my phone as I had forgotten to log myself out. It was you, you were one of the only people who had really bothered talking to the account... and you weren't like the rest, you were really fucking different, quick to trust. I was curious so I decided to message you for a couple of hours that night than in the morning tell you who I was but those hours ended up turning into months, and I could never find the right time to tell you..."

No, no no no no no... Will can't be him- he cant be. There's no way, No, no. I felt myself beginning to freak out my breathing becoming to fast for my heart to handle. I needed to get out of here

I stood up shaking the room moving, I felt so sick. 

"Y/N... please let me finish explaining-" 

I couldn't reply... If I opened my mouth I knew I would have thrown up so I ran, I just ran I have no idea where too but I just kept going I wanted to get away, Tears streaming from my eyes silently, breathing becoming hard to do until the next thing I felt was the cold, hard, concrete of the floor beneath me. 

PT 2 will be uploaded later on tonight xx