Dave x Jack Oneshots

7. Partners In Crime

It was Dave's birthday. Nobody knew about it, except Jack. He had an orange hoodie for Dave to match his purple sweatshirt.

How did he know about his birthday? He read Dave's diary, without him ever knowing, of course. On one specific day, he would write about how he robs kebab stores and other shops to get gifts for himself, because no one else gets him gifts.

That day probably wasn't his birthday, but he held it as it because it was day he found Henry's Circus.

So, he got to work and walked into the saferoom, seeing Dave, all happy.

"Hello, Old Sport! Are you ready to go entertain kiddins?" He asked, with a wide grin on his aubergine color face.

"Yeah, before that, Happy Birthday!" Jack handed Dave the gift, which was in purple shiny wrapping.

"I got you a matching gift, for the sweatshirt you gave me. I'm wearing it right now." Jack tugged at his purple sweatshirt.

"S-Sportsy..." Dave had small tears in his eyes. "How did you know about my birthday?"

"Well, I kinda guessed that it would be today." That was a pretty bad lie, but Dave believed it.

Dave tore off the wrapping paper and got dressed up way quicker than Jack thought he would.

"Now we're wearing clothes of each other's colors! Nice! Now, let's go!" Dave pulled Jack by his hand out of the saferoom.

"Hey, I thought we were gonna go entertain kiddins?" Jack said.

"Just you wait sportsy! Now, get into my car, we're going to get kebabs and cake!" When Dave ran outside, pulling Jack by his hand throught the way, he unlocked his purple car and pushed Jack into the passenger seat and flung himself into the driver's seat.

"D-Dave, what's with the rush? Jeez..." Jack tried to put on the seatbelt, but Dave didn't let him, cause "Seatbelts are for losers!".

Jack was swaying in his seat, cause of Dave's fast and furious, also dangerous driving.

After probably less than 5 minutes, Dave drift-parked his car into the kebab hut parking lot, which was empty, because it was a work day and work hours.

Near the hut, there was a small grocery shop, called "Norfa".

Since when do they have these shops in America, in the 90's? Nobody knows, nobody cares.

Dave then opened the car door, stepping out one leg. He then turned to Jack.

"Old Sport!" He shouted, a little louder than necessary.

"W-what?" After a second of silence, Jack asked.

"You go to that store and get the best cake you can, got it?"

"U-Um, sure..." Jack opened the door and exited the car, heading to Norfa.

"I'll get the kebabs!" Dave ran to the kebab hut.

The shop was crowded, mostly with grade schoolers and middle schoolers buying chips and all of that crap, cause the school food is shit.

Jack picked out a cake he thought Dave would like and waited in a line full of teenagers and kids from a nearby school, to pay for it.

He heard the kids whispering to each other "lmao why is that man orange?", "Why are his eyes so weird?" And other similar things, but he ignored them.

When he finally paid for the food, he went outside, to be greeted by Dave, who was again, half-screaming at him.

"Where were you for so long?!"

"U-Um, sorry, there was this long line-" Jack began explaining but was cut off.

"What do you mean "a line"?! You paid for it?! Why the heck?!"

"Um... Because that's what normal people do?"

"Whatever, get in the damn car, the hut owner called the police and I hear the sirens already!"

"Wait, what?!"

Dave pulled Jack to his car then sped off.

The orange man looked at the back seats. There were 3 bags of kebabs, and they were all with seatbelts.

Jack and Dave aren't with seatbelts, but bags of kebabs are? Huh. Jack decided not to question it.

"Dave, why the fuck did you steal? You have me in your life now, I could've bought some kebabs for you!" The Tangerine scolded, hearing the police sirens behind them.

"It's my birthday! I do whatever I want! Do you know how long I haven't stolen a kebab, Sportsy?" Dave saw the police car closing in, in the rear mirror.

"Sportsy!" Again, he shouted louder than neccesary.

"What?!" Jack was panicking.

"There is a gun in the storage compartment!" Dave shouted, speeding up to get away from the police.

"W-Why do you keep a gun in your car-"

"Goddamit, Jack, just take the gun, load it and shoot these cocksucker's tires! Or kill some, I don't mind!"

Of course, Jack wasn't going to kill. He opened the compartment,  took the pistol, and it was purple, of course...

It had bullets in it and seemed to be loaded already. He clicked the safety.

He then opened the window and shot at the police car's in the front tires.

With some struggle, he managed to shoot at 2 tires, making the car stop.

Hah. 1 down, 2 more to go.

Fuck.

"Dave! The gun is out of bullets!"

"Oh shit, there are 3 more cars in the front!" Dave screamed and did a very risky U-Turn, making Old Sport hit the side of the car.

5 cars were chasing them now, and Jack couldn't shoot anymore tires.

They were somewhere in a peaceful neighbourhood, with forests in the distance.

Dave had mastered the sharp turns from the past times running from the police, so he used those skills, and police was now far in the distance.

These legendary turns scared Jack. Like, how the hell does he not slip off the road doing those?!

When the police caught up again, Dave did one last turn. The officers failed to do it, and their cars hit each other and stacked up, stopping.

When Jack was still catching his breath, adrenaline running in his body, Dave happily announced "We escaped!"

"W-W-We did?" Jack looked behind them, not seeing or hearing the sirens.

"Yep, we did! Good job, Old Sport!"

The drive home was kind of peaceful. Like they did not just run from the police for breaking the law.

When they got to Dave's apartment, they ate cake and kebabs. Skanei.

"You know, this was the most fun birthday I've ever had! Mostly because you were my Partner In Crime!" Dave said, his cheeks a lil' red.

"Yeah... Honestly it was scary... And fun, in a way..."

"Wanna do that again?" Dave asked, his eyes shiny like in an anime.

"Dave, please no."