My Soulmates are IDOLS 1 | Limelight🎇| 18+ [Reverse Harem]

43:alone

MinJae

There were a lot of things that MinJae felt insecure about.

Dancing was about clean lines, fluid strength and beautiful bodies. Long limbs and lanky muscular bodies were desirable then. But even without those things, one could still dance beautifully. MinJae always believed that dance never discriminated, it accepted anyone who worked hard.

Being an idol was a different story. No longer just about pretty limbs, it was about every little thing that shouldn't matter but did.

Like the little protrusion of his belly after a meal, the flabby layer of skin that covered his ribs...the extra layers of fat at the bottom of his chin...the swell of his cheeks when he smiled...the chaffing of his thighs when he walked...the folds of skin in his back when he bent backwards...

The shape of his body on camera.

Being an idol was about becoming dangerously unhealthy.

And yet the media praised him for his achievements in weight. He was suddenly a role model to look up to for his weight loss, suddenly deemed 'prettier', 'hotter', and 'sexier'. Sure, some fans would comment on their worries for his health. But he was pretty sure they would lash out at him the minute he gained back the weight he had lost.

Being an idol was about slowly killing himself to look perfect for the camera.

He liked to think about how foie gras was made whenever he was on a diet. He would think about how the birds were force-fed twice a day. Think about the video where the farmers forced tubes down their throats. And how they held the birds in place, gloved fingers clamping over beaks as they pumped mashed feed into their bodies to fatten livers that would eventually fail.

He would think about which one was worse: starving, or being forced to eat until he died. Starving always seemed to be the better option of the two for MinJae.

It helped that MinJae was insecure about his body.

It came with the profession. In dance, he was insecure about his lines, about how he looked on camera, about the twists and turns of his body. When he became a member of IDOL, it was so much more than just that. He was insecure about every little part of his goddamn body, from the look of his bare feet on camera to the hair on his head.

Sometimes, when he was nursing his bottle of water, there was this horrible, horrible feeling of nausea swirling in his belly from his latest diet of fruits and water.

He started to daydream about better days.

"I'm sorry, sir. Your soulmate has passed."

MinJae blinked, staring blankly at the doctor before him. The doctor was quiet, watching him with those sad eyes. He was balding, peppered grey hair peeking out from his roots. He sat in his seat, just watching him, waiting for his reaction.

But, MinJae didn't know how to react.

"What?" He gasped, the question escaping his lips on instinct.

MinJae had already sacrificed so much for his looks, so the girl of his dreams was he was not. He dreamt of someone who loved her body, embracing it for what it was. Someone who ate healthily, at least healthy enough to keep herself alive with him until they were both old and grey. Someone who laughed a lot.

MinJae liked laughter and smiles. Big wide smiles that would make him smile too. He would like that.

"I'm...I'm sorry for your loss."

"I-I don't understand?"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" Sieon snapped, stepping forward. "YOU CAN'T JUST DROP A FUCKING BOMB LIKE THAT!"