Broken Walls *AU*// L.T.

54. Second Chances

Side info: In London, school is known as college. Where are you all from?

Camilla P.O.V.
His fingers thread through mine, laying on the soft grass beneath our bodies. His hand toys with my small fingers compared to his, and he chuckles a bit.

"You know how with a Christmas present there are layers? Ya know , there's the bow, then the tape, then the wrapping paper, and the box, and the tissue paper-"
"Yes Lou, I think I know what a Christmas gift looks like." I laugh settling my arm across his lap. "Your point is?"

"Well a person is like a gift; in more ways then one per say-"

"Are you trying to create a metaphor with this?" I smile, and he rolls his eyes.

"Like I was saying, a person is a gift. Metaphorically," He emphasizes," and emotionally I guess. You kind of want to peel back every layer and-"

"Tear the paper apart-"

"Before getting to the good stuff." He sighs. "And I'm not implying that everything isn't good it's just that there comes to a point where you can finally feel like that thing or person is yours. When you tear back all the paper and that wonderful gift is yours. And... that's what I want to do with us." His cheeks turn scarlet as he shakes the fringe from his eyes.

My eyes widen a bit as I blush but the feeling of sweetness is replaced with guilt. My hand slips from his as I sit up, my eyes facing the grass.

"You know I can't Lou. I'm going off to private school in a month. I can't handle a long distance relationship." I whisper under my breath, my hands set in my lap.

"Yes you can. We were supposed to start high school together Cam. It's not your fault your mom got a promotion in Seattle, but that doesn't mean you have to leave. You can move in with me or a friend-" He's speaking frantically but I shake my head.

"You know I can't Lou. That would make me a terrible daughter for leaving my mum after all she's done for me. I have to be there for her. I love her and she's loved me since I was born. I have to return the favor."

"But you don't love me. If you loved me you wouldn't be moving 5,000 miles away to a boarding school where all the boys practice golf and the girls wear pippy long stockings." He spoke angrily, grabbing onto my arm.

"I do love-"

"No you don't. It doesn't matter how many times this conversation happens. You're still going to go to the NorthWest Prepatory Academy for freshman year, while I stay back waiting for your return. But I'm not doing it Cam. I can't wait for you. Not that long." He has tears in his eyes, frustrated tears, as he stands and kicks at the grass.

"Lou I'm sorry-"

"Stop saying your sorry!" He's pulling at his hair, walking the opposite direction. He runs towards me before clenching his fists. "Ya know, have fun playing all your new friends. That's what your best at. And when you get a boyfriend and he breaks your little heart, don't come crying to me because I won't have a shoulder for you to lean on anymore."

Haziness clouds my vision as my eyes get used to the light above me. There's a wetness on my forehead and it's an out of body expierience, not knowing where I am.
That's why I can't tell Lou. After leaving last time for only a month and breaking his heart, the process can't be repeated. He'd only mend it once more until it can't be anymore. If I am to leave, he can't know until the last minute. Nothing is going to stop me from leaving this hellhole.

A figure reaches across my chest to touch my forehead, a gentle hand resting on the top. Brown hair and green eyes come into sight and I know it's my mother. She smiles down at me, a glimmer of a tear, we eyes glossy.

"Camilla?" Her voice is hazy to me but I sit up anyway, my vision a bit blurry. "Are you okay?"

"I don't know what's going on..." I mumble and I remember suddenly that I had let down my mum. "I'm so sorry."

"Just forget that happened. Okay, the important thing is that you are safe and okay. I made you break down and I'm so sorry." She sets a hand on mine , and my face fills with guilt.

"Mum don't-"

"So, I've made another interview with WestMinster Prep College that is set up for tomorrow morning. You will be missing half the school day, and I expect you to be in your room tomorrow clean and dressed properly. If you're hungry my credit card is on the counter downstairs. Unfortunately I will be in the study for the rest of the night working on the blueprints for the new building in Toronto." She smiled, starting to get up but I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Since when is your company building a new place in Toronto? Isn't that in Canada?" I ask and she smiles wide.

"Yes, I'm quite excited about the company expanding. But enough about me, it's quite late, you've been knocked out all day and time is money you know." She chuckled and quietly left my room, leaving the door open.

I sighed and decided to check my phone, reaching over to my side table to grab it. I pressed the home button and there were several messages and twitter notifications. There was a message from Louis asking how I was doing and another from Niall inviting me to another party. None of it seems that interesting anymore.

I text Louis back that I'm fine and I will see him at school tomorow. All I know is that he will be absolutely livid tomorrow when he finds out I will be living at a private school for the rest of the year. He and I... we don't have a label. So, there's nothing for me to hold onto when I do leave.

And I'm not sure if I'm okay with that.