an ode to the loveless, these are for you.

blue ballpoint pen

there's words written with a cheap blue pen on my ceiling from when i had my loft bed,
mainly band names and logos,
but late at night it's different writing.
the words expand from the one small part where the wall meets my ceiling to where the white paint is covered in the blue ink,
and all it says is what i've done wrong.
and the ceiling starts collapsing, and it falls so low i can smell the ink, i can taste my words, and i can hear the voices yelling.
i can hear them reading the words aloud to me and i can feel my chest begin to cave and soon enough i'm falling through the floor, my only destination is down for eternity.
falling through a dark drop forever with nothing but my thoughts to help me feel still.
one moment you think you're getting better and then you feel a slight weight on your chest,
"i'm not getting better."