he still causes pain

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i'm not friends with him,
i don't wanna be friends with him.
he's hurt me for so long and it continues to hurt,
i just thought maybe it could all be made calm.
i could finally have peace,
but that was wrong.
i was wrong.
i was so so wrong.
i don't want him anywhere near me, i never wanted him near me in the first place.
i just wanted peace near me.
i wanted to be whole again and get my old self back.

i'll have to get that back on my own,
i have been trying.
i thought this would ease my recovery.

i'm sorry

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