More Than Survive; Tyrus/Ambi

Chapter 16

Cyrus

The blue light fades for a second before I wake up from my trance of staring out the window to relight it. The words flash before me once again, blinding both my eyes and my brain.

It has happened again. Or more so, It has been happening all this time; my journal, whoever has it, is still posting the things everywhere, not even tumblr anymore, but on Instagram as well. I've reported it, but the accounts have already said who wrote them. Cyrus Goodman, the weird gay boy.

When people feel pain it can come in many different ways. You either go numb with shock or your blood pumps and nerves in your systems go haywire. I think I have both of those now.

The reason this is all so new to me was because of our camping trip, no power means no texting or internet, which I thought was a good thing. It let us escape, I was wrong.

Another one pops up on the feed, all I can think about is please don't say anything about TJ. Because before all of this, before us, before the trip, I poured my heart and soul onto those pages. His name is like a permanent mark in those pages.

Please, please, please don't say anything about TJ. He's not ready, I don't want this to be my fault. I can't imagine what would happen.

I love him too much.

And I know that he is so far from everything about that. But I can't help it. I love TJ Kippen.

Please don't be about him.

And it's not. It's just another one of my poems about people being horrible again, and of course it has my signature at the bottom. Who would write their signature at the bottom of every page of their journal? Apparently this Cyrus Goodman does. Apparently.

A comment is added to the anonymous post, somebody I don't know.

Evantreeguy: Wow, this is actual poetry

I don't know about it being poetry, but that comment does make me feel a little bit better, that is before the second one.

Jerktourage: ew, what a **g

My hope of not being humiliated deflates. The feeling is so overwhelming this time I choke out a sob before I can stop myself, I'm suppose to be quiet, it's nearly two in the morning. But the tears roll down my face and build up in my throat.

What has happened for me to deserve this?

I put my phone back down and try to bury my self pity in blankets, but I don't dare touch the sleeping TJ next to me. I would be a monster to bring him into this.

After about five minuets though I pull my phone out again and just stare at my own words. Silent drops of sadness on my cheek begin to start rolling again.

"Cyrus? Muffin?" TJ mumbles, I can't tell if he's sleep talking again or not so I sit more upright to try and hide the light. But it's too late because now TJ is moving closer to me, his head rests on my chest, eyes shifting into night mode.

"What are you looking at?" He asks quietly, I try to quite the app but he's already seen it? I feel TJ freeze up. "It happened again?"

I know if I say anything I'll start crying again, so I just nod.

"Cyrus, I swear I didn't know, we should have reported this ages ago." TJ says, then he sits up and really looks at me, bedhead, tears and all. And I see his world break right in his eyes. "Oh my god Cyrus, don't cry, please don't cry." He begs and wraps me in his arms and kisses my hair. "It's okay, I promise you it will be okay Muffin. Don't cry Cyrus, please don't cry angel."

But TJ you don't understand, because now that you're telling me not to cry, with your caring voice and your arms wrapped around me. It's telling my brain "NOW CRY".

I sob into his chest. "I'm so-sorry TJ, thi-this is m-my faul-lt."

TJ lifts my chin. "Muffin this is so far from your fault. In fact I should have stopped this a long time ago." He kisses me on the lips softly, and it's the only thing that is keeping me from going insane.

"TJ?" I mumble. "Yeah Cyrus?" TJ swallows and looks at me with the most longing and focused eyes.

"I L- I'm really glad you're here with me, I don't know what I would do without you. I'm so lucky TJ. So lucky." I chicken out at the last second. TJ chuckles and rubs my back, he is quiet for a moment.

"Cyrus, you have no idea how many seconds of everyday I look up and thank whoever in the universe has granted me the wish to see a real life Angel, not only that, but to have him be my boyfriend. No scratch that it's every second Cyrus. Every single second." Then he kisses me again with his lips on my tear stained face with urgency and no second guessing, with passion, and it's rougher than I would expect, like he's telling me how protective he is with just a kiss.

We lie back down and TJ's arms form a barrier between everything else.

"I am going to fix this." TJ says to me, pronouncing every word with assurance. "But you need sleep Muffin." He pulls the blanket over our entangled bodies.

"What if the comments won't let me sleep?" I ask him, fearing of nightmares.

"Don't worry angel, I won't let them." I feel TJ's arms interlock and pull me closer. "I'll be right here okay? Counting every second. Sweet dreams Cyrus." TJ kisses my head once again. And it seems like a miracle, but I do have sweet dreams after all.

-

-

Morning comes around quicker than I would like, but since we still have the whole day to go somewhere TJ let's me sleep way longer than I usually would.

I wake up to an empty bed and a nearly empty room. Buffy and Marty have probably gone training, there is an arts and craft shop so I know where Walker and Andi are. Amber is flattening down the last crinkle in her pink shirt, which would complete her whole pink ensemble of hot pink jeans, a matching jacket and black shoes dusted with pale pink glitter.

When she catches me looking at her she shrugs, "What? It's pink day and Wednesday." Then Amber saunters out of the room. I groggily sit up and reach for where my phone should be, but see there is a note replacing it instead.

I don't want you cry anymore, especially in the morning <3- Your not so special incredibly lucky boyfriend who is going to take care of everything. It reads and I smile to myself.

Suddenly the door swings open and TJ walks in carrying a tray of pancakes and juice. He looks at me and grins. "Good your awake, they were shutting breakfast down and I didn't want these to go to waste. For a second I thought I might have had to eat them." Then he chuckles and sets them down in front of me.

"TJ you really didn't have too." I say looking at him sincerely, but TJ kisses my cheek and shifts closer. "Yeah I did." He nods and nuzzles my neck which sends a shiver down my spine. I kiss his mouth softly, tasting maple syrup on his lips and TJ responds by smashing our mouths together again. "We should have breakfast in bed more often." I tease, pecking his lips one more time before actually eating what TJ got me.

"We should," TJ comments and goes back to resting his head on my shoulder.

And I know one thing, we are going to be alright.

A/N Happy October Third everyone!!! Both me and Amber will be wearing pink today,

I love this chapter, actually scratch that, I love all of my chapters so much. And I love you guys for commenting and voting, I treasure every single notification I get when it comes to those.

Have a bright day pink sunflowers xx