More Than Survive; Tyrus/Ambi

Chapter 20

A/N, I know I'm focusing on Tyrus a lot, but don't worry Ambi is back in the next chapter with full force :)

Cyrus

I pull my t-shirt over my damp hair and try to smooth it out, I had to speed out of the shower this morning, since I don't have much time left before school starts because TJ though it was a good idea to put our beds together, you try getting out of bed for school at the right time with a clingy boyfriend. I'm not complaining though.

Behind me TJ cusses. "What is it?" I ask him.

"I think I left my workbooks at my locker, I'll run and get them, but I can't walk you to class." TJ complains.

"It's fine, I'll see you at lunch okay?" I say and lean in to peck him on the lips for good luck on our first day back, the connection makes both of us blush. We link our hands together and walk out of the room.

"Have a good day Muffin, I love you." TJ says as he kisses my cheek and heads off in the other direction. He's so fast I don't have time to respond so I text him instead, but I know that TJ realizes how much I love him, it's nice holding somebody in your mind like that.

I head to my first class optimistically, feeling the distance of our hearts at every step.

-

-

The morning isn't half bad, nobody really notices me except to ask me about my trip or to ask me for my eraser. At lunch TJ stops me from heading to the cafeteria. "I'm treating my man to a real welcome back lunch." He says and whisks me away to the Spoon. We shared a milkshake with straws and strawberries shaped like hearts. All I could feel was TJ's leg tapping mine lightly.

It's only when I get back to my locker to swap out my books does it take a turn.

I twist the dial, putting in the code mindlessly, but when I try and pull it open it gets stuck, so I give it an even tighter tug. Eventually the metal door comes loose and tens of papers spill out. On the inside the words "Looking for this ***?" Are spelled in graphic red pen, underneath it is my journal, but the pages are left open, dark red ink splattered into it like blood.

The books in my hand drop to the floor, but I don't hear them. I go to pick up one of the papers, and it's my poems, my words, but it doesn't feel like it anymore. That vulnerability, that's what they want me to be like now. No. I won't satisfied them.

I grab the bundle of papers and put them in my backpack, shutting the locker before anyone else can see. I'm not going to my next class.

Instead I walk outside of the school, but stopping by the science labs, because they have matches in the back cabinet, students steal them all the time to light fires or smoke but I have a better idea. I grab a box and continue to walk done the hall, stilling the emotions that rise within me.

When I reach the parking lot I keep walking until I am standing at the front of the forest edge, I pile my poems onto a rock and pull out a match. They're not mine anymore.

I swiftly bring the tiny stick across the box, setting it alight, then I throw it into the papers.

For a while I just sit there and stare at the flames rising higher and higher, my phone vibrates in my pocket, after the fourth time I shut it off completely, only not quick enough because I see TJ's name on my screen and I feel the knot I have on my emotions begin to loosen.

But not until all of them are burned, gone forever, the I can cry.

"Cyrus?" A voice asks behind me and I turn to see Veronica, wearing a blue sweater and dark jeans, her hair framed loosely around her face the wind being the only thing making her seem alive.