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05 | dark times

Alexandria.

"Do you know why you're here?"

Alexandria's eyes casted towards the dark skinned woman sitting infront of her. Biting the inside of her cheek she focused her attention on the plaques that occupied the wall. She didn't want to be here. There was nothing wrong with her.

"The first step to recovery is participation," The therapist walked infront of her. Resting her body on the desk she stared intensively at Alexandria who's attention had finally drifted towards her. "You've been staring at my walls for the past thirty minutes refusing to answer any of my questions. I'm not the bad guy here. I'm here to help you, if you're not gonna give me the opportunity to do that you might as well find another therapist but just know you're not hurting me. You're hurting yourself and that sweet young man that wasted his time waiting for you in the lobby." Shaking her head Naomi went back behind her desk. Reaching for her telephone to inform her assistant to send in the next person she froze as Alexandria interrupted her.

"I'll talk."

"See that wasn't so hard now was it?" Naomi smiled as she placed the telephone back down. "We only have fifteen minutes left therefore this session will be a light one." Alexandria nodded at her as Naomi continued, "Do you know why you're here?"

"I'm here because my friend freaked out after I tried to commit suicide."

"Why did you emphasis on your friend's reaction? Did you not expect them to be upset about your decision?"

"No," Alexandria shook her head. "The signs were all there."

"The signs that you are suicidal?" Naomi questioned, looking over at Alexandria causing her to nod. "Did that particular friend ever try to help you before?"

"He did a few times but-"

"But he didn't try hard enough?" Naomi cut her off, finishing the sentence. "Do you really think your friend is in the wrong here? If that person has tried multiple times to assist you and you've ignored them the only person to blame is yourself. Often times we misdirect our anger on the wrong person. I'm not blaming you for not realizing the extent of your situation and that you needed help. I'm allowing you to realize the part you played in sabotaging the help you could've gotten."

Jotting down a few stuffs into her notepad Naomi questioned, "Can you tell me the details of that night?" The color drained from her face as Naomi questioned her. Realizing that she wasn't ready to be open about the events that had unfolded that night Naomi added, "That's okay we can speak about that next session. Tell me more about your sister."

"My sister was the sweetest person ever," A smile covered her face. "There was never a moment in my childhood where I wasn't with her. We were so close in age and my mother would often tease us about the sibling rivalry that would develop between us as we got older but it never happened. Yeah we'll have a few arguments then and there but we were always each other's keeper. I wanted to be like her so bad, she was my biggest inspiration."

"You mentioned briefly in our last session that you two drifted apart for a while due to her dating someone by the name of Nico."

"Nico was my sister's boyfriend. He and Alejandra," Alexandria paused as she mentioned her sister's name. "They were one grade ahead of me for a couple years but I loved my sister and wanted to be around her. I worked really hard and after a while I knew most of the information for my year grade and was given the opportunity to skip."

"That must've been the perfect dream for you." Naomi smiled at Alexandria who released a laugh.

"It was. I wanted to be with my sister at all times and I did everything to make sure of that,"  Alexandria explained with a small smile. "I didn't like Nico. As soon as he came into the picture my sister's attention was no longer fixated on me. She started canceling plans and missing important events to hang out with her boyfriend. I was so mad. One night I confronted her about it and she argued that I was too dependent on her and that I needed to make friends. We made up afterwards, as I said we were never ones to be upset with each other for long periods but it was then I knew."