X1 OneShots (BoyxBoy)

Your Light ♡ Hyung Line

This is pretty much a very soft oneshot. I wrote in Yohan's point of view how he saw his amazing hyungs going through ups and downs in life.
I hope you enjoy it!

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I started from rock bottom. I started with only few months of training, without having ever sang or danced in my life. The stage was still something I wanted, craved with my everything. And in some way, I made it. Not only I made it, I made it to first place. And it's something I couldn't even dream of, with so many talented and charismatic people right there. But I guess people saw something in me? I really don't know.

The first day I got there, the first day I met all those people. It was like they had such bright stars in their chests. Each star different from the other, everyone shone in a different way. I remember very clearly the first time I met our most experienced members. Seungwoo hyung, Seungyeon hyung, Wooseok hyung and Hangyul. And it was so different. We had lights, but it seemed like they had stars made of diamonds, carefully and perfectly sculpted. Looking at them singing, dancing, rapping, it was like looking at... like looking at the galaxy. Stars here and there, and then all of a sudden there's this extremely bright big star that you can't help but look at. That's them.

They have fire in their eyes. It's like their soul ignited with infinite fire. So every single time I looked at them, it was like I couldn't take my eyes off them. How can you ask someone who's looking at a Lotus flower to just stop looking? In the middle of such darkness, and ugliness stands the lotus flower, stunning and bright. You just can't stop looking at it, right? Because if you look away, you'll only find darkness and bad things.

That's how I saw those members. I just wanted to keep looking at them. Because if I looked away I would have to face reality. So I just wanted to keep being blinded by that bright light.

But as I knew them more... I realized it was more than what I saw. Wooseok hyung had told me once: if you feel sad, just cry. Don't hold back and just cry. And I didn't think he would be the kind to need that kind of sentence. But that day came. When he got confused with the choreography since such small changes were made. And he was so busy trying to help our team, and even other teams, that he forgot about himself. That's the first time I saw him truly cry, right in front of me.

After the evaluation everyone had went back to the practice room. Except for Wooseok, who somehow had just disappeared on the way. So I just decided to search. We had just heard pretty harsh words, specially Wooseok and I couldn't let him be alone at such a situation.

After looking through some of the small studios, I heard sniffling. At first I didn't think it could be him, our Wooseok hyung, but I could recognize that voice from anywhere. So I quietly opened the door, peeking through. And there was that bright sculpted star. But then it seemed... cracked. Like it had been suddenly hit strongly, and the sculpted perfection had cracked.

I got in quietly, sitting beside Wooseok. Before then I had never really realized how small the older member was. He was just always so confident and talented, it didn't seem possible that Wooseok was smaller than me. But right then he did seem small. Curled up, hugging his knees, and all I heard were very soft sniffles and whimpers.

I wrapped an arm around his shoulders, pulling him closer to lay his head on my chest. He didn't give in at first, but slowly leaned on me. I lightly caressed his hair, not exactly knowing what to say. But I knew I had to.

"Wooseok hyung... you don't need to answer me, just listen, okay? I know you don't really like it when people see you cry. But I couldn't just watch. You shouldn't blame yourself for this okay? You have such a big heart. Such a big heart that tries to take everyone's pain away. And I saw it. I saw you helping every single member with their dancing, their vocals, I saw you going to the other studio when Suhwan asked for help, I saw you even going to Pretty Pretty team to help them with their vocals, I saw it all. I know how hard you worked, and so many trainees are so so thankful to you. Because you are part of the reason they were able to do so well. So don't blame yourself. You're tired, you got so much in your mind, or you think I didn't see you even thinking about the formations of the other team? You're trying to take so much at once, because of that gentle and kind heart of yours. But you need time for yourself too, hyung. I think the best is for you to rest a bit now okay? You have to relax a bit before continuing, okay? So don't punish yourself. Don't keep torturing yourself with those harsh words, because we know why they happened."