True Love, even if you dont want it. (complete.)

Chapter Eight Just Disappear

                       Just disappear.

    Why won’t it leave me, the dream, the thoughts, everything. It was two days since I first had the dream the one where I’m free, I’m wild living life like I use to when I was still with Alex. That would have be the best dream ever if it were with the boy I loved, Jake instead it was with Alex. My nightmare it wont go away, both nights since then its came back, when I drift off for a nap it’s there. Jacob is starting to get worried about me, every night I wake up when I realize it’s Alex, I run to the washroom and splash cold water on my face hoping it splashes the dream away from my mind. It never did though, I still think about it and dream it. I started wondering if it would ever go away.

    I sat huddled on my bedroom couch, the lights off so I was in darkness all around me, my cats laying on either side of me and Squirrel at the end of the couch lying on my feet. I wiped tears from my eyes, but the tears wouldn’t stop coming. I was glad Jacob had left me to go upstairs in an attempt to give me some well need sleep. I knew I couldn’t go to sleep but he didn’t he just thought he would go away, it would take time for it though. Though it may never go never leave my system. I felt sick to my stomach as I lay their, you could here only four things, all three of the cats purr… , my usually slow steady heartbeat sped up unnaturally because of my thoughts.

    “Lyssa, are you okay,” Hailey yelled as she opened my bedroom door letting light in from upstairs.

    I didn’t reply.

    She turned on the light by my other coach, “Lyssa your not ever like this, I’ve never seen you like this, normally when you are upset, you go down to your room and cry for an hour then come up, Jacob thinks your just having bad dreams and need sleep, I’m not the best sister, but I still know.”

    “Hail’s don’t worry its my problem, Jakes right I just need some sleep.” I told her.

    “Aly, I don’t believe you and even though you could tell me anything and I wouldn’t judge, I’m you sister after all, Lyssa, I love you, you’ve always been there for me remember when Andrew broke up with me in grade eight, you were their you stayed all night by my side when I poured my heart out. Lyssa I just wanted to do it for you and be good sis for once, ill be upstairs text me when you in the mood for talking.”

    “No wait, Hail’s.”

    “Yes Hun.” she responded

    I really did want to tell her, after all she is my sister and as much as we are different we are the same in more ways. I tried to tell her but couldn’t bring up the nerve, I don’t care that we were twins she was still my older sister even if it was by one minute, and shed judge me without trying to but I did feel bad but I couldn’t tell her not now at least.

    “I love you to sis, and I’m fine, I’ll be up in a second but if I ever need you I will text you.” I lied.

    My sister left after that, I tried to follow but didn’t really want to. I just wanted to slip away from this world and all my thoughts. I wanted to disappear never be seen again. I wanted to forget it all. I ran back to the couch my thoughts poring back in my head,  curling up in a blanket I cried. The cats around me did the same not liking my crying noises.

    Eventually my sobs turned into screams. I hated myself because I knew my dream said something but I wouldn’t push it forward, ever. My friends ran downstairs to me, Jacob at the lead.

    “Baby,” Jacob panicked, “What’s wrong talk to me.”

    He looked into my eyes, it looked as if his blue eyes could see deep in soul. His hand took mine, making warm. For some reason that comforted me, so my screams died down, the sobs were still there. My breathing shallow and hard, it came in short bunches far apart. Jacob sat down on the couch next to me his fingers interlocking with mine. Thankfully Alex was not with my friends.