she's mine.

77

"Eli, no. We won't let anything happen to you," I told him over and over. He smiled and reached across to give my thigh a squeeze.

"Let's go eat lil mama," he said as if he hadn't just told me some psycho path was coming after him ready to kill him as if this didn't bother him at all and everything was okay. He smiled as if he already knew what was going to happen and accepted it. ACCEPTED IT.

NO.

THERE IS NO ACCEPTING THAT.

"Eli stop," I told him. I couldn't handle him acting like this was nothing, or even worse acting as if it was all going to be fine if what he believed was true. It couldn't be.  I couldn't allow this. It COULDN'T happen. He couldn't leave me. "Stop acting like this is nothing," I begged.

"Rai," he said in his authoritative tone. "We have a dinner to get to," he looked at me with unforgiving eyes threatening me to push it. I clinched my jaw shut knowing I did not want to push it right now. I saw the others in front of his car waiting for us.

I huffed like a child.

He sighed and ran his long fingers through his hair, unsure what to say. I knew he didn't want to upset me, but I also knew not to push it. Eli was a man, when he said something- people listened, including me. But that did not stop me from feeling a fire of anger and helplessness flood through me, this would be sooooome dinner if he was planning on making me sit through this and act like everything was okay.

It's not.

I'm not going to let Eli go.

I stared out the window at our friends pretending to box. I wish I could have met Eli in a different light, in a different way. I wish we could have had a normal relationship like all the other kids our age, one where we dint have to worry about committing crimes or dying at any moment. I wish I could just be with this man, love him forever- if he really did mean what he said- maybe someday marry him. What a thought.

My 18th birthday was barely coming up, and I was already thinking about marriage.. I never would have seen this coming.

"I don't want to lose you Eli," I whispered to break the silence. "I can't. It would destroy me."

I meant it. He was my rock, my safe place, I couldn't see a life without him anymore.

"Tell you what," he reached across and took my chin into his grasp to turn my face toward him. "If we make it through this, make it to Christmas," his voice was low and husky, just the way I liked it. My eye lids fluttered at his breath on my face. He laid a soft kiss on my cheek before taking my left hand in his. "I will have a ring on this finger at graduation."

AHAHAH. WHAT

My eyes shot up to his expecting a laugh or a 'just kidding', but he only smiled a genuine encouraging smile before laying a kiss on my mouth and turning to get out of the car. WAS HE SERIOUS?

I knew he wanted to marry me, and I was beginning to see his vision, but at GRADUATION? WHAT?

He was insane. He must've been joking, I thought as I stepped out of the car to meet him at the front of the car. I shook my head and smiled at him, only Eli could say some ridiculous crap to make me (almost) forget about that we may be running out of time together.

He was looking at me with a devilish look in his eyes as I got out of the car and walked to him. His eyes raked up and down my bare legs, over my little black dress, to meet my eyes. He smirked a wicked smirk as I reached for him, and pulled my body to his. He wrapped his arms around me and said, "gosh, if you ever left me I'd need rehab."