If you weren't there

Chapter 10

When I opened my eyes I first didn't realize where I was. That was until I felt her arms around me.
I turned around and saw that she was still sleeping. She looked so innocent. I could stare hours at her. God, she was so beautiful. I shove her perfect red curly hair behind her ear.
After a few minutes staring at her she opened her eyes. She smiled at me.
"Goodmorning." I said to her.
She just smiled. She was probably just too tired to say anything.
Her grip around me loosened. I didn't want her too but I felt that she was surprised by how tight she was holding me. She sat up. I felt like there was something she wanted to say.
"Is there something wrong?" I asked. She looked at me.
"No... it's just... it's killing me not knowing what place we're in." That made sense.
Yesterday I didn't even know that she was still alive and now we slept in the same bed. It was hard for me too, because I knew I needed to choose and if I choose Rafael it will be hard to let Rose go if we would become too close.
"I... don't really know actually. It's difficult..."
"Luisa... I still love you." She said.
"I know..."
"But you don't love me." What? What was she saying?
"Why do you think that?" I asked.
"You stopped loving me one year ago... everything was fine between us. You came to visit me in prison, we called and you told me you loved me. And then suddenly nothing. You didn't visit me anymore, you didn't call me. I thought something had happened to you, but then you visited me again with your brother and that's when everything became clear. You stopped loving me... you were over me. You were working with the cops. That's when I finally realized that you were over me." I took a deep breath. She didn't know the half of it. She didn't know what really happened.
"Wait... I can explain." I started. "I didn't stop visiting you and calling you to get over you. I needed to go to a mental institution. I thought I was talking to a man that didn't exist... well, turned out he did exist. Magda and Anezka just wanted to take over the hotel. That's why I couldn't visit you anymore and when I got out I realized that I was unhealthy so I went to the motel where my mother used to work. I never forgot about you but it was easier there because it was far away from you. Then Rafael came, he found me. It seemed the perfect place to let him know I was over you, to have a normal brother-sister relationship.
Then I got back to Miami. The more I lied about being over you, the more I started to believe it myself. Rafael needed me to talk to you... I thought I could handle it, because I was sure I was over you, but when being there alone with you, I became vulnerable again. I couldn't show it because Rafael needed to believe that I was over you. I worked with the cops so Rafael could believe me, but I regretted that choice fast since he didn't even come to see me or say thank you, so I wanted to flee the country. Then Jane called me, saying that you were holding her hostage. I saw that as my opportunity, but it was never my intention to push you. After that, I realized that I was lying to myself all this time... I wasn't over you." She looked shocked, like she couldn't believe what I just said.
"Luisa... can I say you one thing?" She asked after a while.
"Yes."
"I think Rafael has a bad influence over you, and I'm not just saying that in my advantage but because I care about you."
Now I was curious. "Why do you think that?" I asked her.
"Luisa, isn't it obvious? When you're around him you feel like you need to act different. You should be yourself around your family but with him, you can't and you need to hide your feelings because when you don't, he cuts you off."
I thought about it. She was right. He was my brother... I should be allowed to be myself around him.
When he needed me, I was there for him, but when was the last time he had been there for me?
"You're right." I said.
"Look Luisa, I don't want to remind you of it, but I have to. I'm leaving this evening and I need to know how many stuff I need to pack. Are you staying here or are you coming with me?"
I knew that she needed to ask this question again. But this time was wat different than the first time. I was sure... sure of my decision.
"I'm coming with you." I said determined.
"Are you sure?"
"More sure than I've ever been about anything... but before I leave with you I need to get some stuff at my apartment."
"Okay sure. Can I pick you up at the motel at Fort Lauderdale?" We both smiled by the memory of it. We met each other there.
"Okay." I smiled and gave her a quick hug.
Then I walked past her and got to the door.
"See you later." I said before closing the door behind me.

Hi!
So this was a pretty long chapter and I've worked long on it. I actually should be studying right now but who thinks about that? ;)
I loved writing this and I hope you enjoyed it.
Next chapter will come soon.
Bye!
Xxx